32 - Start over

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Can

I wake up with a strange feeling of discomfort, I feel like I've been hit by a train, I move to relieve the tension in my aching joints and realize that I'm holding something precious in my arms.

I open my eyes on the face of the woman I love with all my heart, she's curled up in my arms, her head in the hollow of my shoulder, she's sleeping peacefully, I think I'll never get used to awakenings like these, inevitably my heart speeds up in a mad rush when she's so close to me, I can't help it. I sigh happily.

She must have sensed my movements because she opens her eyes too, she looks at me with a wonderful gaze, as adoring as mine I think, how much can I love her?

She brings a hand to my cheek and then to my forehead, why? I don't understand.

- Günaydın, good morning, how do you feel?

I frown questioningly - Günaydın, good morning, how do I feel? Why? -

- You were sick as hell last night, you had a high fever, I worked my ass off to help you get it down.

I'm amazed, I don't remember anything at all, no in fact I have a vague memory of her body under mine, of a deep, sensual kiss I look at her full lips and realize she is blushing.
I smile, obviously the fever hadn't been so high that I hadn't taken the opportunity to steal a kiss from her.

She melts from my embrace definitely embarrassed and gets up heading towards the bathroom, I bring my arms behind my head, I realize I'm shirtless and I smile again, interesting....

She comes back out of the bathroom and mutters a - I'm going to make some breakfast - disappearing at the speed of light.
At this point I openly laugh, it's too cute.

I get dressed and join her in the kitchen, she has already prepared the eggs and toasted the bread and all this without burning anything, damn we are making progress around here!
I keep the remark to myself, I would never want to upset her.

- I remember absolutely nothing of what happened, I mean almost nothing -

She rolls her eyes blushing with embarrassment.

- We fell asleep on the couch, after a few hours you began to tremble and you had a high fever, you were talking in your sleep - And on this sentence she stops, tilting her head to the side as I have seen her do so many times when she is perplexed, she seems to think about whether or not to say something, I urge her.

- What did I say? -

- Nothing, don't worry, nothing. This is not the time to talk about such things, you have been sick, you need to recover your strength, eat.

I look at her intently, what could I have possibly said?

For the moment I have to overlook it, we continue to eat, I reassure her that I feel very well, I rarely get sick but when I do I usually recover quickly.

- Sanem, I would like to take you to a place if that's okay with you.
She looks at me curiously but nods.

-Tabii ki evet, of course it is, no problem, I'll set up here and we can go - I make to get up and she stops me with a finger pointing at my nose.
- Stop there, I'll take care of it, you've been sick go rest on the couch lütfen, please -
There is nothing I can do, I have to surrender to this peremptory order, as I am leaving the room I hear her phone ringing, I hear her talking.

- Günaydın anne, good morning mom, evet, yes, yes everything is fine, yesterday I just forgot to turn on the phone, it's okay, I'm fine, yes say hello to babam. Görüşürüz, see you -

Her mother, that will be another obstacle to face, I've always adored Sanem's parents, my heart clenches at the thought of losing their trust, I hope one day I can win her back by showing them how much I love their daughter.
Hopefully soon, now is the time to start clearing the air between us, today I intend to take the first step towards that direction.

She enters the living room ready to leave, I get up smiling and together we leave the cottage, I take her hand and lead her towards the woods, we stay a long time in a relaxed silence I'm happy that she feels comfortable with me.

I hope that what she is about to learn doesn't upset her, I want her to know everything, that there are no misunderstandings between us.

We have to start off on the right foot I don't want any more secrets.


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