He's ma man

12. Pamela

JIMINS POV

'Minnie...' my grandma called getting my attention back to her and away from jungkook who looks borderline pissed.
I wonder what got him all riled up as I allow my grandma is tug me onto her bed.
I lay on her side with my head on her shoulder as she caresses my hair softly.
Almost lulled to sleep by her gentle touch, I saw as she motioned jungkook to sit in the chair next to her bed.
He obliged but refrained from loosing the eye contact he maintained with me.
It felt like he was looking into my soul... Searching for answers...i felt vulnerable... noone has ever looked at me with this kind of desperation.....it made me believe that I wasn't alone..hope, that I was wanted and not just a waste of space....that he genuinely cared.
'Want to talk about it?' Grandma asked and just as I was about to answer I felt jungkook take my hand in his, holding it like it was made of glass.
'I...' I start and close my eyes..
'Let it out...." my grandma says .
A tear escaped my eye as I tell her everything that happened downstairs...I feel jungkook tighten his hold of my hand.
'I always knew I was a mistake...and It sucks! It sucks that they didn't want me even before I was born..i was just a responsibility to them ,an unwanted entity who ruined their chance at a life they wanted to live. An unnecessary nuisance .' I take a deep breath before continuing.
'it was always clear...even when my mum told me I meant the world to her she always kept her distance from me...she never talked to me about my day at school, never helped me with my homework , whould just immediately go to bed when she was home. I tried to understand...I consoled myself thinking that 'she must be tired!' Or that 'she is working for me! And I should be understanding!' . But then she started bringing her boyfriends home...I questioned myself about how she had the time to date when she barely saw me the whole week.
She would lie to me that she had work to go out with her boyfriends...would get home late into the night...sometimes even drunk..I was just always stuck with a nanny...and when they lelt i was alone.. it made me miserable and attention seeking.
So I always rebeled and threw tandems. Tried to demand attention that was given to my friends at school easily, But nothing changed. ' I cry
'I always wanted a normal family, to do normal family things...like having dinners and movie nights together...go to the parks and celebrate Christmas together. I wanted to tell everything that happened in school to my parents..invite my friends over for dinner, have sleep overs...but I was always alone.
It made me bitter and insecure...I felt like I had no one..like I didn't matter..like everyone in my life just wanted me out.'
I sob and my grandma wipes the tears off my face,
'And your appa?' She asked and I just looked down...I didn't have the heart to tell this sweet woman about how her son was never around. That this vacation was the longest I have ever been around my father.
She sighed, assuming the worst from my silence.
'I am disappointed...I didn't raise him this way..to leave his only son and not care about his happiness is just inexcusable...' she closed her eyes .
'I am sorry minnie..I am so sorry you felt that way.' she says her face sad.
'No...please don't say that...' I say as I kiss her cheek.
I watch as her small eyes get glassy and look at jungkook for help.
'Yes grandma jia how is this any of your fault! If you were aware of jimins situation you would have definitely done anything in your power to help him..' jungkook says.
' I know a sorry cannot fix anything but thats all I can do now minnie... I apologize on my sons behalf, forgive this old lady ' she says as she kissed my hair.
'Oh grandma...you are going to make me cry again! And I already have a headache!' I pout trying to change the mood...seeing her sad was unbearable.
'Ya...enough of this emotional stuff for today...this is so much more than my daily limit!' Jungkook sighs and we laugh .
We talk about random things ,completely ignoring the elephant in the room.
Soon my aunt brings my grandmas soup so she can go to bed early, and jungkook and I getup to leave.
'Ya I almost forgot! Kookah! ' my grandma calls and we turnaround 'yoongi is sleeping next to me tonight!' She says with a mischievous grin and after a second of confusion , jungkooks face turned to understanding.
He smiled at her Nd just nodded.
'So?...what does that mean!? And why are you both smiling like this?' I ask only to be pulled out of grandmas room by jungkook.
As we are out of my aunties earshot he whispers ' just tell aunt areum you don't want dinner and that you are going to sleep early because you have a headache. Then come to your room'
'What? Why! And I want dinner! I am hungry!' I say with a pout.
Jungkook shakes his head and sighs 'oh lord give me strength to deal with this boy!' He says dramatically
'just do as I say!' He whisper yelled.
'Jeez ok ok!' I say and slip back into my grandmas room and tell my aunt as I am told .
'OK honey I will make sure that noone disturbs you , rest well' she says busy taking different tablets from the bedside table.
I see my grandma wink at me .

Puzzled, I head to my room to see jungkook arranging pillows on my bed and covering them with a sheet...he tosses me my yellow hoddie and grabs my hand , switching off the lights.
'What you doing and where are we going?" I whisper.
'I am getting you out of this house and we are going to the carnival!' He says .
My jaw Almost hits the floor.

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'OK! So they are not leaving here anytime soon! We just have to make a run for it! Let's just hope they wouldn't notice us.' Jungkook says as we spy on yoongi and my uncle from behind the wall in the living room.
They were busy chatting and we had to go to the door behind them.
'But what if-"
'Shhhhh! Follow me!' He whispers and holding my hand tightly makes a dash out of the door.
I almost expect to see my uncle running behind me and calling me but was surprised when we easily reach the car porch unnoticed. We continue to run past the farmhouse and to the open ground.
He finally releases the hold on my hand and I check if anyone spotted us.
Seeing that we are alone-
'I have to say That was impressive! I almost thought we would get caught!' I say
And jungkook smiles 'me! Getting caught! Never!'
'OK no need to be cocky' I say and roll my eyes , following him to see a vintage ocean blue mustang..
'Wow!!! Is this your car!' I say as I touch it...the paint shiny under the yellow street light giving it a certain elegance.

'Yes...meet "Pamela" the love of my life ' he says as he kisses the cars bonnet after kneeling in front of it.
I laugh and say 'ohh Pamela! Its such an honor to have met you!'
I then bow to Pamela dramatically and jungkook chuckles.
'Hope on!' He says. As he opens the door for me.
And I Can't help but smile...
This is going to be fun.

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