Good At Surviving || Bucky Barnes ||

Chapter 24

It was obvious that I eventually had to talk to Tony so I showed him a way to my room.

I closed the door behind him and sat down on the bed. He however stayed by the door, standing.

"I'm sorry..." was the first thing I said after a few moments of silence.

"At this point I deeply doubt that you actually mean it." he replied with no emotion in his voice.

"Wow first of all, that's cruel... and second of all, yes I in fact am sorry that I threw my phone away when I saw your name on the screen." I replied and crossed my arms.

"You threw your phone away?!" he repeated confused. "You in fact threw your phone away?!" he repeated himself again, this time more pissed than a moment before. "Didn't you say you lost it?!" he almost yelled.

My eyes widened. "Oh yeah right. I kinda forgot to mention that I lost it on purpose." I mumbled while looking at him with apologising look.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. At this point he looked more disappointed than angry.

"Please say something. The silence is killing me." I whispered while looking at him.

"What do you want me to say? Cause I'm kinda getting a feeling that you don't really care about what I think." he said, leaning against the wall.

"Of course I care about what you say. I just like to do things ... my way."

"So if I understand it right... was 'your way' to get accused of 12 cases of homicide and then hide at my friend's house? Interesting 'way'." he replied sarcastically.

"Oh my god you don't seriously think I killed those people?!" I said a bit more loudly and shook my head.

"What else am I supposed to think? You didn't call, Cap and Nat said they haven't seen you since DC events, the only information I got about you was on the TV."

"Yeah but ... you've known me since I was born. You didn't actually think I was capable of doing something like ... this...?"

"In the past few years I realised that I actually know nothing about you. So I wouldn't be surprised if it was true." he replied with a cold voice.

This hurt.

"Well maybe if you didn't spend most of the time out partying and giving all of your attention to random women, different one, every night if may I add, you would maybe get to know me enough to know that I would never hurt an innocent person, expecially not kill one!" I almost yelled and suddenly I was standing. I was hurt and angry. But right after I finished I regretted my words really badly.

"Fuck." I sighed and closed my eyes. "Tony I'm- ... I was just..." I stuttered.

"Doing things your way." he interrupted me, looked away and left the room.

I spent another few hours staring at the wall while laying in my bed. Every once in a while I could feel my eyes starting to tear up but I couldn't cry.

Right when I closed my eyes, someone knocked on the door.

"I'm not here." I said, hoping the person will go away.

Unfortunately, I heard the door open.

"I'm not in a mood for social interaction." I mumbled while I kept my eyes closed.

"It's not like you have a choice." the person replied. It was Nat.

I opened one eye and looked at her. "When I thought it couldn't get worse, there you come and I realise that it just got worse."

"Why do you have to be so dramatic?" Nat said, rolled her eyes and sat down at the end of the bed.

I closed my eye back again. "Please just shut up, I cant even hear myself losing the will to live"

"I get it. You are mad."

"I'm not mad.

"Your face is screwed up like your mad."

"I'm not mad my face is just ugly."

Nat stayed quiet for a few seconds and then spoke up again. "No I don't think that's it. I still think you look mad."

I opened my eyes. "For the last time! No, I am not mad! But I will be very soon if you don't stop saying that I'm mad because I am not freaking mad!" I yelled.

At that same time Lila walked into the room. "Why is Emily yelling? Is she mad?" she asked while walking to Nat and curled up around her.

"This is impossible. I can't do this." I stood up and threw some of my stuff in my rucksack.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Nat while messing with Lila's hair.

"I don't know. Europe." I said casually and put on my jacket.

Nat looked at me confused. "Europe? Are you completely mental?!"

"Probably." I said and walked out of the room.

I heard Nat fast walking behind me. "You can't just go to Europe! You couldn't even go to the gas station without getting noticed! And you made it pretty clear that you have no money and let me tell you. You can't walk to Europe."

"Try me." I replied as I stormed out of the house.

Outside I could see Tony and Steve splitting and stacking wood or something.

I walked towards them and as soon as they saw me they stopped with their work.

"Emily wh-..." Steve started.

"Just don't." I said, pointing my finger at him to stop him. I turned towards Tony.

"You told me I don't tell you anything. So I'm going to tell you this now. I'm going to Europe. Why? I have no freaking idea but I just need to go away from this. But before I go I want you to know that I did not kill anyone. And when I threw my phone away I did not regret it at all. I was happy back then. More than I ever was. This guy made me feel alive."

Tony narrowed his eyebrows. "Woah wait a second ... is all of this happening because of a guy?!"

Steve made a few steps back and forth, showing he was a bit uncomfortable.

Tony looked at him and his eyes widened. "Rogers I swear to god this is my little sister...please tell me that you two are not -..."

I looked at Steve and then at Tony when it hit me what he was trying to say.

"No Tony! Jeez ..." I said as I covered my face embarrassed.

"Why am I having trouble believing this!?" Tony argued glaring at Steve.

"Tony, I can assure you that me and Emily are just friends and -..."

I coughed loudly to interrupt him.

"What was that?!" asked Tony quickly looking at me.

"Just a quick note. Not friends. Just an ... ex coworker? Yeah that could be the right term." I mumbled the last part.

Steve sighed and obviously wanted to say something but Tony was quicker than him.

"Who's the guy then?"

"James. I met him when I was working at the diner. It's not a big deal though, we just talked a few times. Actually, if you wanna know more, Captain Rogers can tell you more about him, since they are good old pals."

"Emily don't-..." Steve started but got interrupted once again, this time by me.

"No. You don't. Don't lie for once." I said before I turned away and started walking.

"You are going to get killed!" Nat shouted after me from the distance, probably observed the situation from the distance.

"No worries. I'm good at surviving." I yelled back without looking back, knowing that this could be the worst decision I ever made.