Good At Surviving || Bucky Barnes ||

Chapter 29

"I didn't give you a chocolate though.." I said nervously as I felt heat in my cheeks.

"I don't need chocolate to tell you how I feel about you." he smiled slightly as he walked closer to me and held my hands to help me open the wrapper.

With his help the wrapper opened immediately.

"We really are a perfect team." I laughed shortly as I was looking at his hands that were still wrapped around mine.

"Yeah ... we work pretty great together." he said as I looked up at him.

I took a deep breath. "Buck?"

"Mia?"

"I really wanna kiss you right now but I can't keep myself from chocolate any longer." I said as I quickly took a bite of chocolate bar.

He laughed and pressed a soft kiss on my forehead. "You are making me jealous of chocolate." he said as he walked to the bathroom.

I grinned. "Don't worry my heart is all yours." I said as I blew a kiss towards him.

He pretended to catch it and slapped it on his cheek.

I laughed and shook my head as he closed the door behind him.

I finished eating the chocolate and threw the wrapper away. Then I looked in the bag to see what else he has bought.

Firstly I noticed spaghetti and tomato sauce. Then there was also a bottle of juice and ... ladies pads.

I bursted out laughing and covered my eyes. Now I felt really bad for lying. I didn't expect that he would do that but at the same time I felt my love for him grow even stronger. If that's even possible.

But at the same time I couldn't help but imagine poor confused Bucky at the store, buying pads.

"What's so hilarious?" he asked as he walked back out of the bathroom.

I didn't say anything, I just walked towards him and pressed a kiss on his soft lips. "I'm never letting you go." I whispered.

Then I realised he wasn't wearing a shirt. It was the first time I saw him without a shirt. My heart stopped as I noticed the place where his metal arm was attached to his body.

The tissue around it was full of scars, like someone was trying... to pull it off. Tear it away.

I looked up at his eyes. I could tell this was a huge thing for him. Letting me see him like this.

He was looking at me sadly, like he expected that I would react in a negative way.

I slowly raised my hand as I kept the eye contact. I stopped with my fingers right before I could touch his scared skin. "Can I...?" I asked quietly.

He nodded as he closed his eyes for a moment.

I slowly traced my fingers down his hurt skin till I touched the metal. Then I looked back, to meet his eyes.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked carefully.

He shook his head.

I nodded. "I understand but please know that if you want to talk, I'm here for you." I assured him.

He let out a deep breath as he avoided my eyes. "Sometimes... it gets ... really hard."

I tilted my head on right while still looking at him. It hurt me to see him like that. But it was a part of him. And I was honoured that he chose to show me his vulnerable side.

"At times I get so tired of everything. Fighting. Hiding. Constant pain." he almost whispered as a tear ran down his cheek.

I sighed and gently wiped the tear away. Then I took his hand and lead him towards the bed, mattress.

I lied down and gestured him to lay down as well. When he lied down I found his hand and locked his fingers with mine.

"Close your eyes." I said quietly. We both closed our eyes.

I brought our hands to the middle of my chest. "Feel that?"

"Heartbeat?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Yes. Now just focus on it." I replied. "And remember that this heart beats for you. I love you Buck. Just the way you are. And nothing can change that. You will always own my heart."

I could feel his hand grip get a bit stronger but he stayed quiet.

After a while we both fell asleep.

I had a weird dream about robots that attacked the city and avengers had to destroy them. As they finally defeated them I sighed relieved. Then I heard screaming from near by. Bucky's screaming.

I tried to run but I couldn't move. I was crying as kept hearing Bucky's painful screams. They was getting louder and louder to the point when I finally woke up.

But then it hit me that it wasn't all just a dream. Bucky was in fact screaming. Like he was in pain.