I'm not overly empathetic to say the least, but, there are a few situations, usually involving middle aged divorcees, that are so pitiful I would pay real actual money to free these poor souls of their sorrows.
The situation I would like to describe in over dramatic detail today involves teachers who try too hard, and get nothing in return. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Your pudgy, bald, Algebra 2 teacher makes a joke about slope and everyone in the class stares back at him with dead eyes, silent. Your Skeletor look-a-like English teacher says sarcastically "I know you guys just love Shakespeare!" looks at you all with much anticipation, and gets no reaction, no chuckle, not even a twitch of the mouth to fill the gaping hole her ex-husband Greg left in her heart.
I find that the most common victims of this mental abuse are substitute teachers. Sometimes, they are assholes and they deserve it. Don't get me wrong, I also love putting an over-controlling asshole in their place. However, most of the time they are just desperately trying to get you to like them, and instead of applauding their efforts, we throw pencils at them and laugh when they tear up and break down. That shit is sad, but at least we rarely have to look at them again, and don't have to deal with the emotional consequences.
What's worse is when your actual, full-time teacher puts in daily effort to make his class fun and exciting and he gets absolutely no response. One specific example that comes to my vile mind is a middle aged - almost bald man with an adorable limp who played my teacher for a quarter of the last school year. Every morning, he would play a "funny video" from his file labeled "funny videos" on his old computer. Everyone would sit there on their phones, and in an almost terrifyingly desperate attempt to get people to look up and laugh, he would go "look, look this is my favorite part!" and point to the monkeys wrestling on the projector. No one would ever glance up, and I could just see the pain in his little eyes. I wanted to stand up and go "That was fucking hilarious. These guys are cunts and don't know what they are doing. Keep going. I appreciate you and everything you do." But of course, I am a pussy bitch and just sat there on my flat ass, wondering where his life went wrong and how long he will hold on for.
A lot of teachers at my school try too hard for these students who don't give a fuck, and we are all so undeserving. I know my teacher's happiness is not my responsibility, but goddammit, I wish I could just express to them that I see what they are doing without being rude or forcing them to realize that no one cares if they give out a sucker every Friday, we are nearly grown and have debit cards. I don't want to make them sadder than they already are on the inside, don't want to confirm their suspicions and bring them into the harsh light of the uncaring reality.
To the teachers who aren't assholes: Know I hear your jokes. I don't think they are funny, but I will smile at you because you need it and I want to help you. Don't stop trying, I appreciate you if no one else on this god forsaken Earth does. I'm sorry that you have to endure this psychological torment day in and day out from 8:10 to 2:40, you didn't do anything to deserve this. You have my permission to have a mental breakdown mid-class, and to be frank, I'm not quite sure why you haven't already. Of course, I won't say or do anything, because again, I am a pussy bitch, but know that from the comfort of my head, I feel for you and your mustard yellow JC Penny cardigan.
YOU ARE READING
overly aggressive ramblings ;)
RandomThis is the honest type of bullshit. It's basically going to be an overly dramatic string of crude thought. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't, that's your choice, motherfucker.
