Habits Of My Toxic Heart - Draco Malfoy

Chapter seventeen - Cresent moon

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Holly

I walked through the corridors, cursing myself for being late. Now I had to walk into the great hall, all by myself and every single face would turn to look at me. I stopped in front of the doors and took a deep breath before pushing them open and stepping in. I heard the murmur between the dining students simmer down to nothing. It was like the whole school was holding their breath. I quickly looked down to avoid everyone's nosey looks. I saw Daphne discreetly waving at me and I started rushing over there, hoping none of the professor would acknowledge my arrival. But of course to my bad luck, the headmaster gracefully stood up and walked to the podium.

"We are very pleased to welcome a beloved student back to our school. The circumstances regarding her sabbatical you may take up with her personally. But what needs to be notified is that her last name is now Greengrass, and she will be proceeding to attend with her class in fourth year," Dumbledore smiled at me warmly before returning ever so gracefully to his seat at the professor's table.

"How'd it go with Professor Snape?" Daphne asked me as I sat down.

"You know, as well as it could have. I handed in all my schoolwork I've done at the facility and I guess he just wasn't pleased about having to grade all of it. But at least I got a welcome back," I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed some food. Me and Daphne ate in silence, trying to ignore the fact that the entire slytherin table was staring at us like we were aliens.

As me and Daphne had finished our very public eating show in the great hall, we got up and rushed out, trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling. Thankfully my bed remained untouched in our dormitory. I stood in front of it and stroked it with my hand, taking in the feeling of being back.

"You okay?" Daphne asked me.

"Yeah, more okay than I've been in a while," I threw myself onto the bed and exhaled. Looking up at the bed ceiling I realised something.

"Draco," I muttered as I sat up.

"Holls.. I don't think it's a good idea," Daphne looked at me with a concerned frown.

"Why?" I didn't understand.

"I wasn't the only one who had a hard time with you being gone," she spoke and placed her right palm on her left wrist by instinct. I swallowed at the sharp jab in my stomach at the thought of how Daphne had been treated while I was gone. Not even Tracey stood up for her the way she deserved. All the sisterly feelings stirred up and I instantly walked over and kneeled down beside her and removed her hand covering her scars. I exposed her striped skin and exhaled at the sight of no fresh wounds.

"I'm so proud, no matter what," I spoke softly as I pulled out my wand and whispered Priamus Minus and petite, dainty purple flowers shot out of my wand and sailed down onto her exposed skin and then landed and melted down into purple drops of water.

"You're amazing Holls, when did you learn this?" she exclaimed in awe.

"Something I saw one of the psychiatrists do for a girl who also had scars just like you. It's supposed to help with the urge to relapse," I looked down, realising I had no idea how she would react. But then she threw her arms around me and I felt her sob into my chest.

"I'm so fucking happy you're back," she choked out and I couldn't do more than agree.

Draco

I tried to eat my dinner in peace when Zabini flaked out his bony ass elbows beside me. I just shot him a glare and he rolled his eyes as he retracted his elbows from my side of the table. I scooped up some rice and poured it onto my plate, slowly watching the grains hit the porcelain. I had noticed that Daphne was back, I had given her an eyebrow raise at the train ride here, acknowledging that I knew what's up. She just gave me a discreet nod and we both understood, we tolerated each other but nothing more. She stood by her sister's side, and I stood by mine.

I still remember that weekend that she stayed at the Manor. Today I had just wished that my mother would have waited for the weekend to be over, so we could have had some time. Time for me to convince that I had no idea about what my mother knew, and that we would be fucking okay no matter what. I had one day. Then the minister of magic himself had arrived at the Manor early saturday morning. Yet another thing my mother had withheld from me. I can now understand why she kept it all from me. I would have told Holly, and then her mother would have had a chance to escape, or I would have made them not go through with the plan. It would have been a bloodbath, more than it already had been that night. I had woken up without Holly next to me, and she had already been taken. I was so goddamn angry I teared down every single painting we had hanging, every vase, every curtain and everything else I could get my hands on until my father took an iron grip around me. I cursed him out and kicked him until he finally let go, long after Holly had been taken away. The only thing I felt bad for, was the last thing I had said to my mother before storming out.

Your lies are no better than hers, mother.

I had seen my mothers face fall before storming off, my father shortly after ready to teach me a lesson for talking to her like that. But I had just apparated away.

I snapped back to reality, to the subdued buzz between the students. I grabbed my fork and started poking around in my rice and cutlet, thankful that no one bothered to talk to me, they probably knew by now that I'd snap at them. Just then, Zabini turned to me.

"Ey, no sign of your little virgin?" he laughed and got a dochey pat on the back from Goyle right next to him.

"What. The. Fuck. did you just say?" I gritted between my teeth.

"Looks like we've awakened the beast," Pansy smirked, twirling her hair.

"Not everyone enjoyed being used like a public restroom, Pansy," I said with contempt.

Suddenly the doors swung open to the great hall and I saw everyone's heads turn. I followed them and just at the glimpse, I dropped my fork to the ground and my heart skipped a beat.

It was her.

She looked emaciated and timid. Like a shy deer. Her now dull green eyes quickly shot at the ground in front of her, and I saw her cheeks flush. I felt rage flame up inside of me. Panicked rage. Covering up all the anxiety and hurt that I had spent the last year shoving down. I quickly looked away from her, back down at my plate, trying to calm my racing heartbeat and increasing breaths. I couldn't implode here. It wasn't happening. I balled my fists and channeled all my anger towards that. I kept breathing and felt my trembles from rage dissolve slowly. Somewhere I heard Dumbledore speak up but I was unable to focus on anything but my fists. I was cut off by yet again, the idiot to my right, slapping my shoulder.

"Mate, you're bleeding?" He asked me like a question and I looked down at my hands. Thin streaks of thick blood were leaving marks trailing down from my palms to my wrists, dripping onto the floor. I just got up, keeping my fists balled and rushed out from the great hall. I locked eyes with Daphne who gave me a concerned look before I hurried out and into the restroom, opening my fist and seeing four halfmoon-shaped cuts on each palm. I hadn't even felt it. And still didn't feel the pain that should be there. I just felt the blood, running alongside my arm. I turned to the faucet and let the lukewarm water run over my palms, turning the water a distinct color of crimson. This could not keep happening. Bad flashbacks from Astronomy and seeing Daphne's wrist made me panic. I had to do something. My rage had no stop and I was out of control. It wasn't like I could walk up to Madam Pomfrey and be like "hey, I have uncontrollable rage that makes me wanna slaughter the entire school, can you help me?" I rolled my eyes in the mirror. They'd probably lock me up like they did Holly.

Holly.That's it. I can't handle her. I fucking hate her guts for making me like this.