𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 | Hwang Hyunjin

3.3

"Oh, that's a pretty necklace, where did you buy it?", they guy laying next to me, Lee Sungho asks me. He reaches out to touch it but I push his hand back away.

Nobody touches this chain. I feel a little guilty for still keeping the necklace Hyunjin gave me to Christmas but I just can't let go of it.
"It was a gift."

"Oh, I see. Should I get you another one? You can choose one. But I want you to also keep me near to you all the time", he whispers and gives me a kiss. It isn't as bad as some other guys.

He's not that old, maybe just got into his thirties, not much older. He's some rich ass businessman. He's kinda hot to be honest. I'm not really attracted to him but he is attractive if that makes sense. I already have a thing with him for some time, longer than some others.

I bow over him and give him a kiss on the neck.
"You have to surprise me."
"Oh, I get it, you're not that easy to get."
I sit up and stand up out of the bed.
"What are you doing?"

"I need to get earlier to work today", I say while I am getting dressed.
I still need to go back home and get ready before I have to go to work.

"Oh yeah right. You know I can buy you everything so much that you don't need to work anymore."
"But I need to do something, I can't just sit in bed the whole day. I see you later."

"Maybe I will come give you a visit."
"Bye. I really need to go now."
I grab my bag and leave the room.

I kinda feel a little bit down today. Today is the September 4. Exactly one year ago, I met the boys from Stray kids.

One year ago.

It's crazy how time flies. This was definitely the most messed up and chaotic year. Literally so much changed. I really want to go back to a year ago. It's been around 6 months now since I had to leave them.

Oh man.

I sigh.
I go to the elevator and press the down button. It takes some time until it arrives.

And as soon as the elevator door opens, I freeze. I didn't saw that coming.

In the elevator, I see Hyunjin.

He also seems very surprised to see me.
None of us move. We both just stare at each other. It's like time stopped. And the first thought I have is how much I missed seeing him. I just want to stare like this at him forever.

It brings up all the memories.

But then I noticed another thing. He looks so different. And I mean something other than the different hair color.
He looks so tired. It's kinda ironic how he always made fun of me for having such bad dark circles and now he has eye bags that are just as bad as mine.

What is he doing in this part of the city? It's quite far away from where he lives.

I want to talk to him, but he wouldn't let me, I already know that.
"Soomin, you left your make-up", I hear Sunngho's voice. And that breaks the moment.

I turn around and Hyunjin also looks at Sungho.
I turn back around at Hyunjin. He kinda looks disappointed and walks out of the elevator.

"Pretty hair", he mumbles as he walks by me.

I can't get a single word out.
I would've loved to say something to him. But I couldn't.

Sungho walks a little faster so that he can put his foot between the elevated door that just his closing so that it opens again.

"Here", he gives me my little make-up bag.
"Thank you."

"Do you know this guy?", he asks curiously.
"I don't know. He looks like a celebrity."
I know Hyunjin is still hearing us.
"Yeah, you're kinda right."
"Kay, bye."

I give him a kiss on the cheek. A little bit cheesy, but I'm just not that uncomfortable with him than with other dudes.

He pulls me closer to him and kisses me on the lips.
"I really need to go now."

~

I enter my apartment. It's quite new, I moved some time ago from my small and old one into a bigger and prettier one.

I kinda hate it tho. It doesn't feel like home.
I go into my room and get changed. It's five pm now, I need to get to the club at 6. That's really early, usually we open around 10, but some rich kid is throwing a birthday party, so it starts earlier.

But I can't really think about that. I can't think about anything other than Hyunjin right now. I still can see him in front of me. It's so weird. I haven't seen him in months.

It's what I secretly wished the most.

To see him again. Deep down, I always wanted it. And seeing him made me so happy. But it also hurt so much. It hurt so much seeing him still hating me.

I mean that's what I expected, but I still was disappointed. I hope he's doing fine. Because he didn't look very good.

I expected him to look a little more happy, like before. But it felt like he was so different. I hope it's not because of me. All I want is him to be okay.

~

"Here you go", I give the guy his drink.
"Thanks", he says politely and goes away. I let out a big yawn. It's really late and I've been here longer than usually.

I am so lucky that I don't have to get before afternoon. My sleep schedule is really messed up. But it's better for my job I guess.

I turn around to get a sip from my water and when I turn back around, I see someone staring at me.
And I just freeze.

It's Hyunjin.

He's a little bit further away, but he noticed me, I know that.

I just try to act like I didn't see him and just look into another direction, trying to act normal. When I look back where he was after a few moments, he's gone. Was this just an illusion? Am I going crazy now?

Just because I saw Hyunjin earlier. I don't know. But it scared me to death. That sounds a little dramatic, but it did. I really hope that was just an illusion.

~~~~~