It Started on the Train

25

"I have something I need to tell you."

We got back to school from break today. For me it wasn't much of a break anyway.

I was dreading being back at school. Because this is the moment that I know is inevitable, but I have wanted not to come all the less.

This is the moment I confess everything, and the only friends I've ever had hate me forever.

"What is it?" Hermione asks, brow creased in worry at the look on my face.

I take a deep breath and look at her, Ron and Harry in turn as I build up the courage inside of me.

"I am a deatheater."

"What?" Harry exclaims. Hermione looks down as if she expected this. Ron just stares at me slack jawed.

"Over break, the Dark Lord came to my house, and said that I needed to become a deatheater and complete certain tasks. Those tasks are spy on you three, especially Harry, and assist another deatheater with his quest."

"And if you didn't?" Ron asks. Hermione elbows him in the side. She and Harry had already guessed. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"So you really are a deatheater?" Harry asks.

"Mm hm." I pull up the fabric around my forearm to reveal the dark mark.

"So why are you telling us this if you are supposed to spy on us. That isn't the best plan for spying." Ron says.

"Well I don't want to give the Dark Lord any information on you guys. I need to give an explanation as to why I will be avoiding you." I sigh, resolving myself to the thing I am going to say next. "And while I'm confessing, I've dated Draco for a year and a half."

"YES I KNEW IT." Shouts Ron. "HERMIONE YOU OWE ME TEN GALLEONS."

"He has been giving me lessons on Occlumency so that I don't spill all of your secrets." I say.

"Well are you any good at it?" Hermione asks, speaking for the first time since I told them.

"Well, kind of. I am going to keep practicing though. I might be able to successfully lie to the Dark Lord."

"Then why do you have to ignore us?" Harry asks.

"Because I can't spill all your secrets."

"But if you are good enough at Occlumency to lie to Voldemor-"

"Don't say it!" Ron interjects.

"Voldemort," Harry says, giving a pointed look to Ron. "then what is the problem?"

I don't have a response.

"You should tell Dumbledore." Harry says.

"Like hell I will." I grumble.

"He can help you."

"Just like he helped you. And Sirius. And Remus. And Hagrid. And Draco. AND TOM FREAKING RIDDLE."

"What are you on about?" Ron asks.

"Don't you think it's weird that as a kid, he showed signs of mental disorders, at least from what Harry says from looking through the Pensive. But somehow he didn't realize that Tom needed help?"

"What about Draco?" Hermione says.

"He is a deatheater too. My other task is to assist him."

"And what is his task?" Harry asks.

"That I can't tell you."

Hermione nods and elbows Ron when he is about to keep inquiring.

"Well, I'm sorry. I have to go now. Good luck. You know. With everything."

"What on earth do you mean?" Hermione says, grabbing my arm.

"Don't you guys hate my guts and never want to speak to me again?"

"Not really." She replies.

"As long as you don't go spilling all our secrets," Harry begins.

"Or start talking all lovey dovey about Malfoy," Ron interjects.

"Yeah that too," Harry continues with a laugh. "we are good."

"Yeah Addilyn, we're friends. And we can fully accept you, what kind of friends would we be if we abandon you because of your problems or flaws. I mean, we keep Ron around." Hermione says jokingly. We all have a laugh at that as Ron glares at Hermione playfully.

This is the first time Ron and Hermione have willingly been in the same room for a while.

"Thank you." I feel near tears. They are they only completely stable things in my life. Always there for me. And now even when I am out in a situation that should have turned them against me, they are still here.

"Awww Addilyn." Hermione hugs me, evidently seeing the tears I'm blinking back.

"We love you. Even though you have incredibly bad taste in boys and a bad mom." Ron says, awkwardly patting my back. I laugh at his bluntness.

"Yeah. Not even you having to assist the people trying to kill me could make me hate you. Which may be a little concerning, but oh well." Harry ruffles my hair like I imagine a brother would.

"You guys are the best friends someone could have."

"My dad and Sirius are going to ride from the dead and tell you they were, just you wait." Harry laughs. We all join in laughing.

...........................................................................

It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

It also feels so nice to be able to talk to Hermione about Draco.

"How did you two start dating?" We were outside, sitting in the sun, even though it is a bit cold out.

I explained the late nights in fourth year, then the chess and the kiss.

"But I want to know more about you and Ron."

"Still not talking."

"Why not?"

"He and Lavender are together."

"Why is that a problem." I know exactly why that is a problem, and if Ron opened his eyes for once and realized Hermione liked him back from the start, they wouldn't be icing each other out.

"Well- well-"

"You like him."

"Maybe."

"For all the stars, TELL HIM."

"He likes Lavender. Besides even if they weren't dating, he doesn't like me."

"You are as oblivious as Ron sometimes. He's dating Lavender because he somehow can't tell that you like him. I bet if you were to tell him he would break up with Lavender immediately."

"Ummm a bit too scary for me thank you very much."

"Alright. But you should tell him someday."

"Unless he marries Lavender."

"He's getting bored."

"What do you mean?"

"Ron has a short attention span when it comes to most things. Some however, he is always focused on. Like Being Harry's friend. Protecting his siblings. You."

Hermione doesn't say anything. She stares at Ron wonderingly. Ron and Harry are sitting a bit away from us.

"Do you really think so?"

"Yes. Not only is Ron rather oblivious, he is also exceptionally bad at masking his emotions."

"How long have you suspected we might..."

"Yule ball. He seemed a little too protective about Krum."

She stays silent for a while longer, then brings up homework, pretending our conversation didn't happen.

As she talks, there is a slight smile hinting at her lips.