Her Mysterious Ways

Chapter 16: What a Life

The snow was beautiful. There was no other word for it. Really. It was just amazing to lay there as each flake fell silently into the night. Neither of us moved or even talked. We just layed on the top of that train car and watched. It was just plain beautiful.

"This would be a great picture." I whispered after a long while.

"It would." She whispered back.

"I really like it here." I didn't look at her when I talked. I guess I just couldn't take my eyes off of the sky. Maybe I didn't want to. Maybe I was afraid that if I looked over at Andy, I would see how beautiful she was and I would remember that I could never have her, and that I didn't think it would be the best thing for her to be in a relationship with me because, well, I was me. We were just too different. I didn't even know why I tried to wheel her in the first place. Stupid, pathetic me.

"So do I. It's really peaceful." She exhaled deeply, making a cloud of steam hover above her for a few seconds before disappearing into the endless sky of stars.

"I wish we could stay like this forever. Just lay right here. I don't even care if it's cold. I don't want to go back. I wish this world was different. I wish there were no social restrictions or rules or money. Just think. You woldn't have to worry about who you hung out with or what you looked like. You could just be you all the time. If the world was like that I would've..." I wanted to say I would've kissed her already, but I decided against, "done a lot of stuff. I wouldn't have to keep my home life a secret, and I could stop wearing this stupid Letterman jacket. Oh the life it would be."

"You've got a big imagination. I'll give you that. Just think though, when people climb mountains, it's hard, but in the end, it's always worth it. Just keep climbing, Cole. The most absurd and difficult pathways and roads are always the ones that lead to the most amazing and wonderful and completely beautiful places. Just remember that, okay?" She looked over at me, her eyes catching small glimpses of moonlight. I then turned my head so that I was returning the favor. Her eyelashes were covered in snowflakes, causing her to look even more beautiful than before.

"I just don't get why people have to go through so much to get to the good part."

"Just think," She took a big breath in, "that breath that I just took, that tiny thing that just happened, that's a gift that we take for granted every day. It's sad how we forget that while we get caught up in our own lives."

"I guess you're right. I do take a lot of stuff for granted. Like being on the team. I'm sure there are so many guys that would kill for a spot on our team. Thanks. You know, you're really smart.

"All for the wrong reasons, Cole." She looked back up to the sky again, probably thinking in that twisted mind of hers.

"What do you mean?" I asked, a bit concerned.

"Another day. Right now, I'm just going to watch the stars and my breath collide."

"Okay. I'm going to hold you to that."

"I know you will." She laughed a little with that little crooked smile.

~

~

I walked her home after that. We were both tired and done with the day. I also know that I wanted to avoid the questions for as long as possible about my family and what happened that night four years ago. I had never talked to anyone about it I sure as hell wasn't prepared to either.

It was just that no one I knew could relate. All of my friends had rich parents that were together and happy. Andy lived in a nice house with a nice family as far as I was concerned. The only other kid that was like me was Gracie, and I couldn't talk to het about it. I don't even think she knew what money was exactly, so I was on my own. I thought Andy could relate to being on her own since she didn't have many friends, so I asked her as we walked up the steps to her nice house.