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SHAME is a wasted but powerful emotion and Kim felt a lot of it. People had a way of making her feel ashamed. Her own shame had manifested itself into an unhealthy relationship with food and now she felt more shame than ever. The urge was there and it was strong. She would've done it but she couldn't disappoint her parents or Dawson or Pacey. She wasn't alone in this recovery anymore which was something that slipped Kim's mind often. She couldn't bear the disappointment on their faces if they found out. But they don't need to find out.
Kim closed her eyes, taking deep breaths as she tried to suppress her thoughts. Her hands balled into fists, her nails digging into her palms. She didn't mind the pain. Anything to distract her hands from where they wanted to be.
Hands slipped past her shoulders. Her eyes opened as a head rested on top of hers. Her eyebrows furrowed as she caught the sight of a rose. Her breath steadied as a pair of lips pressed against the crown of her head. "For you."
"What's going on?" She enquired, plucking the flower from Pacey's hands. The boy moved to sit in front of her at the kitchen table she was studying at.
"Kimberly Leery, will you go to the dance with me?" The noirette was even more confused. Who had possessed this boy in front of her?
"Since when do you go to dances?"
"Since I have a beautiful girl to bring with me." He mused, taking her hands in his.
Kim gave him a pointed look, placing the flower next to her textbook. "Flattery will get you nowhere, my friend."
Pacey sighed, his head dropping in defeat "McPhee convinced the group to go. She made the very compelling point that dances are great foreplay." He felt Kim shift under his hands. His eyes widened, changing his words. "If you were okay with that but if not then we could just stay and watch some movies."
Kim thought about it for a moment. In all honesty, Kim loved dances. She knew that her friends despised any school activities and she could never convince them to tag along unless there were ulterior motives i.e last year's dance. "Andie suggested this?"
Pacey's own eyebrows furrowed, not expecting that of all things to be her next line. "Yeah, why?"
"Well who's she going with? I can't imagine the foreplay is just for herself."
"I don't know. Why does it matter?"
"It doesn't." She denied quietly. "Anyway, I can't go. I have to study for English." She removed her hands from his and picked up her pen, gesturing to the textbooks in front of her.
"You're acing English."
"Because I study."
"Kim." He spoke softly but sternly. She didn't raise her head. "You can't hide from the world forever."
