Love To Hate Me

10. So It's Her

Yu Yan could not wait any longer.

At this point, Yu Yan knew. Chloe is Shaking. There's no doubt. She went around asking poetry club members to give her some of Shaking's poems. Some girls were reluctant to give her any of Shaking's poetry, considering the infamous animosity between the two. But after much begging on Yu Yan's part, the club historian shared her the drive file of the poems. After scrolling through all of Shaking's poems, Yu Yan came to a very firm conclusion that her beloved Chloe was Shaking, the bane of her existence.

Yu Yan's hands shook as she held her phone. She just couldn't bring herself to type it out. After all the things she had done to Shaking, she didn't expect Shaking to accept her as her beloved YanYanzi. Worse, she didn't even expect Shaking to accept her as anything, not even a friend.

I deserve it anyway.

Yu Yan mulled over all the things that she knew about Chloe. Chloe was a cheerful person. Even when the worst was happening to her (Yu Yan now knows that the bully Shaking tells her about is herself), would happily text her as if anything was happening. Chloe told her the weirdest but the funniest jokes. Chloe sent her pictures of random stray cats and cry because her parents won't let her adopt them. Chloe asked her if she was okay when she needed to talk the most. Chloe cares about her wellbeing, even though they have never met before. And that sweet Chloe was Shaking, the girl who literally did nothing to her except tease her. Let's be honest, Shaking's teasing crossed the line many times, but Yu Yan's response did horrible physical damages to Shaking. Yu Yan grimaced at the memory of Shaking's broken nose.

So that's what she meant by a minor injury that day. Minor injury, my ass. I broke your nose. How is that minor?

Yu Yan scoffed at herself bitterly. All this petty hate had made her missed out on an otherwise awesome person. What's worse, she had physically hurt her countless times.

I have to make this right.

The top student wrecked her brain trying to think of something. She obviously couldn't just pop up in front of Shaking on a school day and be like, "Hi, I'm YanYanzi. Yes, I'm your online girlfriend. I am not expecting much but can we bury the hatchet and forget the fact that I made your life a living hell? Because I really like you."

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!!!

With shaking thumbs, she typed out the text that would put everything she had with Chloe on the line.

YanYanzi
Hey
Um
If u don't mind
Can we meet?

~

"Yu Yan?" Kiki rubbed her eyes sleepily. "What brings you here?"

It was almost nine o'clock at night. Yu Yan knew it was really late, but she didn't have anyone else to talk to. She nervously looked down at her feet and let go of a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Jiaqi, I..." Yu Yan choked up. "I think I fucked up."

"What happened???" Kiki woke up real quick. "Oh my god! Did you fuck up on the chemistry test?"

"No, no, no," Yu Yan was quick to deny. "I... I think I know who Chloe is."

Kiki nodded solemnly.

Oh, now she knows.

"Do you want to come in?" Kiki gestured.

"I mean, is that okay with your mom?" Yu Yan nervously tapped her feet.

"Of course, it is!" Mrs. Xu interrupted. "Come in!"

Yu Yan took off her shoes and scuttled into the house. Kiki led her to her bedroom.