say hello wave goodbye

11: leave 'em hanging on the line (1979)

November 1979

She doesn't know why it felt like cheating.

Because it wasn't. You can't cheat on someone you're not dating, and she is 100 percent absolutely not dating Jimmy. She knows that. But she also knows what cheating feels like, and she'd like that feeling to stop.

Not that it's going to stop her. Once when Lindsey was really angry he called her a psychopath, because she 'has zero empathy for anyone else'. That was a lie, and an overdramatic one at that. She's not some kind of monster and she's plenty capable of feeling guilt. She believes in the ideal of monogamy, but she also believes it's an unrealistic expectation in the real world. It's like one of her college professors said about communism- it sounds great in theory, but it'll never work in practice because it runs counter to human nature. In other words, the heart wants what it wants.

But she's not sure what she wants right now. She's spent the better part of the last two weeks with Jimmy and she's starting to feel a little suffocated. After being with him for a week in New York, she had planned on staying in Boston with the girls during their two days off, but at the last moment she decided to go back to the city with him. Maybe it had something to do with how Carol Ann kept bragging to anyone who would listen about how Lindsey was taking her to some expensive bed and breakfast in Niagara on their break. Maybe it didn't. Anyway, she hung out with Jimmy at the studio in the daytime and went out clubbing at night, and it was so nice to get away from everyone for a few days. Well. Almost everyone.

She wasn't going to admit it out loud, but she missed Lindsey. Things between them had changed for the better since their late night talk. The next day, he had hung back to catch her as they left the stage before the encore.

"Hey," he said, just loud enough to be heard. "I didn't know you were going to do that. The Landslide dedication, I mean."

She didn't know she was going to either, not until after the show had already begun, but once the idea was in her head she knew that it was what she had to do. "Oh. Yeah, I guess it just...felt right."

"Well... " He turned his head side to side in order to make sure that they weren't being watched before pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. "Thanks."

The next night Lindsey grabbed her by the elbow when she walked away from Jimmy to go get a drink, pulling her out of the room. "What are you-"

"Sssh," he warned, pushing her into a dark storage room that smelled like rubber and stale cigarette smoke.

"Are you crazy? We've got less than ten minutes to go and-"

"Shut up, I want you," he said as she stepped up onto a wooden box that had been left next to the wall.

"We're finally the same height." She giggled before he silenced her with a kiss, feeling his erection pressed against her through those ugly pants Carol had picked out for him. "Fuck," she sighed, automatically wrapping one leg around his thighs to pull him in closer. "Someone's a little excited..."

"I was watching you," he admitted. "Waiting until I could finally get you alone."

"You have me now. " She whined softly as he squeezed her breast, rubbing his hardness against her insistently.

"You want my cock, don't you?" he teased, voice raspy and ragged. "You know how good it feels when I'm fucking your tight little pussy."

He clapped one hand over her mouth as she started to let out a loud groan, and she nipped at his palm. "Fuck you for saying that when you know we don't have time."

"Can't help that it's the truth." He tried to push up her long skirt, swearing under his breath. "Why does this thing have so many goddamn layers?"