say hello wave goodbye

60: in one of these dreams you forgive me (1980)

{{Holy shit, part 60? I knew this one was going to be long when I started it, but wow. Anyway! Another relatively short chapter, but it sets some things in motion as far as what's to come in future installments.

Trigger warnings for mentions of abortion, infant death, and disordered eating, as well as unusually high Carol Ann content. And as always, you have all my appreciation for reading and commenting.}}

June 1980

"Goddamnit, they're not going to give up, are they?" Carol Ann looks over at Sara, who's nearest to the sliding glass door leading to the kitchen, and rolls her eyes. "Will you go answer that?"

Sara goes inside to answer the phone that's been ringing for a good two minutes now, and Carol Ann lies her head back down on the air mattress she's been floating around on in Lindsey's backyard pool. She'd been begging him to get one of those new answering machine things for times just like this, but he'd said he didn't want to be bothered listening to people's messages.

"Carol!" Sara calls out. "For you."

Carol Ann shakes her head, not wanting to get out of the pool. "Just ask them what they want and I'll call back."

"You really need to take this. It's Lindsey."

She lowers her sunglasses so she could see Sara's face more clearly, and the other woman was biting her lip and shifting from foot to foot like she couldn't wait to get off the phone. It was late afternoon in California, which meant it was the middle of the night in Europe- that couldn't be good. He hadn't spoken to her in months, not since the day he came home from tour just to pack his shit and leave, so why would he be calling her now?

The next thing she knows, she's on a flight to Germany. He needed her to be there, he had pleaded, and it wasn't something he could explain over the phone but he'd tell her everything once she arrived.

At first, she wasn't sure. She told him that she needed to think and she'd call him back. He'd done this once already during this tour; calling her up out of the blue and telling her to get on a plane, and she had flown all the way to Australia just to find out that he was fucking Stevie. He tried to tell her it was only that one time and he had no idea what the hell he'd been thinking, and she'd called him pathetic and a liar and then he started hitting her and demanding that she get out. Once she'd been home for a few days, he phoned her up and apologized for the thing with Stevie and promised it'd never happen again, and she wanted to believe him. But when she told him that if he was really committed to their relationship, he'd quit the band, he flipped out again and accused her of not supporting him. The next time she saw him, he was picking up his suitcases and leaving without so much as a goodbye.

She was mad. Here she was, having spent three years putting up with his bullshit and being nothing but a supportive girlfriend, and he goes and cheats on her with the ex he's been obsessed with the whole time. And really, she's mad at Stevie too. Not just because she's been nothing but nice to her since they met- and maybe they were never going to be best friends, but she thought Stevie considered her a friend, and friends don't do this kind of thing to each other! She'd seen the way Stevie flirted with him, which pissed her off, but she never thought there was anything behind it other than that Stevie knew he was an absolute fool for her and so that was her way of manipulating him. How many times had she warned Lindsey about it before? So many. But now, it turns out that maybe there was more to it all along.

Her attitude toward it had been- fine then, Lindsey and Stevie deserve each other. Mazel tov. According to everyone she talked to, though, they weren't together. She had turned up unannounced at Stevie's house a few days after Lindsey had walked out on her, but the only people there were Sharon and her boyfriend. Sharon told her Stevie was in Arizona with her folks and she hadn't seen Lindsey since Hawaii. When Carol Ann asked her if she thought Lindsey was in Arizona too, she just made a strange face and said no.