The Golden Twin - A Game of Thrones Fanfiction

Chapter 6

It was time to go back to King's Landing and Bran had still not awaken. I cannot say I was sad for him, I didn't know him after all, but I felt sorry for his Lady mother. I had always wanted kids and I couldn't imagine how Lady Stark must feel.

"Joanna, I shall see you when you come back. Maybe, if you want to, we could send each other ravens to not lose touch." He had a hopeful smile.

"Yes, Robb. I would like that very much." Though I would never admit it out loud, I had taken a liking to Robb. He was a very nice guy once you got to know him. I know that I will never love him as a husband but, maybe and only maybe, I can learn to love him as a friend, that is something I am sure I will need when I come to live in Winterfell and marry him.

"Joanna! Come on! It's time to go. Mother is waiting for us." Tommen came running in our direction. "Can you seat with me? Please, please, do it for me! I don't want to sit alone with Myrcella. You know I love her but she is always talking about dresses!" He raised his arms in discontent and furrowed his brow. He was always a very expressive kid.

"Of course, Tommen. Let me say goodbye to Lord Robb first. Okay?" He nodded eagerly and left.

"It seems this is a goodbye." I said.

"It does." He leaned in and kissed me on the lips but this time, unlike the first time he had kissed me, I didn't kiss back out of fear of people discovering my relationship with Joffrey, I did it because I wanted to, because it felt good. When we broke our kiss, I saw Joff glaring at us in a way that, if looks could kill, I'd be dead. Well, me and Robb.

I have always known he was very possessive and self absorbing, but I thought that maybe he wouldn't with me. When we were kids, he always wanted mother's attention and, if he didn't get it, we would start wailing until he got it. Then, that need for being attended at all time passed over to me. All he ever wished for was to have me for him alone. I always thought it was love, but it wasn't. And now I know it. I wish I had known sooner so I wouldn't have slept with him, let alone falling in love with him.

Yet, as much as I know how toxic our love is, I can't help but wanting it. I like that feeling you have when someone tells you they love you, or when they hug you as if you were the only one who mattered. Maybe all I ever wanted was to feel loved by someone other that my mother, my uncles or my siblings.

All of this I realised while staring into the ocean eyes of the young wolf. I smiled at him and left to the carriages. It was time to go back to King's Landing, the place I call, at least for now, my home.

In King's Landing

The month we spent riding was horrible. Joffrey got bit by a dire wolf and I had to bear Sansa's annoying feelings about my brother and Arya's complaints about literally everything. Joffrey had been avoiding me since the attack, which made things easier for me. I had discovered, in one of my few moments of time alone, that I had developed certain feelings towards Robb.

When we stepped foot in the capital, I went to my chambers and wrote Robb a letter telling him about our journey and that I had arrived safely. Then, my handmaid told me there was a raven for me, it was from my grandfather. Tywin Lannister.

It said:

Dearest Joanna,

I wish your journey up North was good and that you do not find that old, dark place as dreadful as it is. I am writing to you not only to criticise the North and send you strength to bear the northerners that now live in the palace, but to tell you that, if you want to and your father allows you to, you can always come to Casterly Rock for some weeks and visit me. I know how much you love the beach. Just like your grandmother.

I hear your uncle Tyrion will be riding South after he finishes his little adventure in the Wall. I send you strength to tolerate him too.

Love you,

Your grandfather.

I finished reading the letter and wrote a reply to it.

Dear grandfather,

I will ask father about spending some time with you in the Rock, but do not expect a yes as an answer. As for my ride North, it wasn't that bad. I met my betrothed and he was a very interesting man. I know he will treat me well. Lady Sansa, however, is an annoying little brat. She believes too much in tales and doesn't pay attention to the world surrounding her. I can't believe she will be queen one day.

Also, you know I love uncle Tyrion and you won't convince me otherwise. He is nice and incredibly intelligent. I do send you all my strength to keep you sane all alone in the Rock, we both know how much you miss his conversation and witty remarks. If you did not notice, it was all sarcasm.

With all my love,

Joanna, your granddaughter.

I wish I could go to Casterly Rock and leave all of this behind, but I know I can't. The threat Joffrey gave me a few days ago while having a break from the road was still haunting me.

"If I ever see you with another man without my permission, I will not be as forgiven, dear sister." He said while letting my wrist go after moments of pressing his nails through my flesh. "Understood?"

I nodded.

Maybe mother has always been right.

"Love Is Poison.  A Sweet Poison, Yes, But It Will Kill You All The Same."