When we were wintergirls

Going, going, gone.

To this day I still don't know exactly what she took,
All I know is that it was enough to break her.
I tried to pick up the pieces
Even know that she's gone I'm still trying.
My fingers are bleeding and broken,
But I'll never stop.
Fumbling with these glass shards of my love's broken soul.
I can't let go.
Never have.
Never will.
I don't think I want to.
The pain is all that I have left of her.
This scratch that she left on my heart.
It's the only hole that my love can't seem to fill. She's enough for me, but she can't make me forget.
I love her, but she's not Katelyn.
She's all that I want and need though.
She's healthy, makes me happy.
I'm enough for her.
But I miss you Katelyn.
I fucking miss you.
--
She would do this thing where she would pretend that we were all cool again for a second, like everything was back to normal, but if I dared talk to her while she was around her "cool" friends, well fuck, I was dead to her.
It hurt so much, being used like that by her.
I had let everything pass me by for her.
She was all I had left.
Now I had nothing.
She knew I wouldn't take whatever nameless drug that she could get that day and take it,
So I wasn't good enough.
I still loved her.
I don't know why, honesty.
The heart is a funny thing.
But this wasn't funny at all.
She let the heart on her hand heal.
But she left mine bleeding.