ch:17

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Chrollo's pov:

Watching y/n closely as I woke up,her face seemed distressed. Her body curled up into a small ball like a child ,thid was unlike normal things that happen. When she dreams she tenes to shake, but this ,this seemed like something only words or actions could do. Was it me? Did I inflict this upon her by making her feel flustered? Did I make her feel as if I did not care for her? Does she now think I'm using her as a pawn based off my action yesterday? Questions seemed my mind as she moved starting to wake up. I do care for y/n, maybe I even love her ,but she may just think I'm using her as a pawn now, and I known I can't change her mind once it's already made up.
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"Good morning y/n." I hear Chrollo say in a husky voice as I grogily open my eyes to look at him.

"Hi." I reply, hi Is all I can currently bring myself to say, pit of fear and desperstion that be I may be his pawn like in a game. Feeling one of his hands slither behind my neck, as the other one stayed on my hip be pulled my hips closer to him,along with pulling the hand on the back on my neck so that the tips of our noses touched ,beforw he closed the gap, kissing me once again, holding me closer ,and closer leaning into the kiss as he ,moved the hand on my waist to my cheeck cupping it as he flipped me so that i was underneath him still cupping my cheeks. Before i push him away.

"Chrollo. What are we? What is this unspoken insanity!?" I ask as i stay pressed on the bed underneath him

"We are whatever you'd like us to be,and this is ,this unspoken insanity, is us finally showing ourselves."Chrollo replied as he pulled himself off of me, grabbing my hands ,as ge pulled me so I'd be sitting up.

"Well what I want is to be closer than this is I don't want to always be afraid to get closer and is this really us, are we really that afriad to love?"  I ask as i fiddle wkth his hand

"We love the way we want, and I know understand you want to love as lovers." He replies lifting up my chin before conmecting our lips once again, but this time soft, short  and sweet .

"I suppose we do ,but yes Chrollo, i want to he lovers. I understand you may not want to, and i respect that-" i was cut off by another soft kiss

"Y/n i want us to be lovers. It's just that i could never bring myslef to finally say it." He says to me pushing us closer  so that our noses were touching .

"Ok. Good, because I'd prefer us to be lovers too." I say pushing my face up against his once again locking our lips and he flips me so i'm underneath him once again. Pressing our lips together harshly ,in a sloppy and yet passionte way before pulling away after what felt like years .

"Now I would like to get up, I'm hungry, and not for you, I'd prefer some actual food." I laugh intertwing my hands with his.

"Well what if my desire is to not let you get up?" Chrollo questions me playfully pinning my hands to the bed

"I don't necessarily feel like doing that, chrollo." I reply laughing

"Well then so be it." He laughs  pulling himself off pulling me along with him due to our hands being intertwined. Chrolo laughs "I'll go try to start something, and let me do this task on my own I believe I can make a simple breakfast "

"Well we'll see." I laugh as he walk out of the room.

As he leaves I can only think simple minded thoughts to myself. I have the man who saved me from the nightmares by my side now, and not as someone who means nothing, no we were now lovers.
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After eating , we sat down on the couch a calm day as most days were ,but this one was shortly different, as today he seemed to be sketching things in his book silently glancing up at me every few minutes as I watched the news looking for new things to see.

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