Break In My Heart

40. And They Weren't Roommates

Despite the madness of the past 24 hours, walking into the doors of my school still managed to put a damper on my mood.

Not only would I have to drag myself through calculus and physics, but I'd also be away from Tyler for far longer than I was comfortable with. As we walked, I wanted to do nothing more than grab Tyler's hand that brushed mine with every step and never let go. There was a certain level of fear that swam in his eyes like a baby animal in the wilderness as if he expected his mother to pop out of the sea of students and drag him into the depths of hell.

"I'll see you two at home," Azalea said as Josh started approaching her. Her eyes lingered on Tyler for a bit before she wrapped her arms around him, completely unaware of his recently developed fear of touch. Though I loved Azalea's want to comfort people no matter what, a huge part of me wanted to rip her away from him. His whole body tensed as if a fierce electrical shock was going through it and I was afraid he would break and freak out. But, after a few moments, he relaxed and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. "I know I'm your boyfriend's annoying little sister but if you need to talk I'm here too. I told you I got you and I mean it." Her voice was so soft that I barely heard it and I was standing right next to them, however, her words made my heart melt.

The corners of Tyler's lips sadly turned up. "Thank you, Azalea." After a few moments, they released each other and Azalea gave me a quick hug before she hurried over to Josh who gave us a wave. I waved back before Josh placed a light kiss on Azalea's lips then he slid a hand into one of the back pockets of her jeans. He said something that caused her to laugh as she leaned into him and allowed him to lead her to wherever they were going. If times were normal, I'd yell something super embarrassing at them, but now, it made my heart ache. Though it was a brief time, I missed being able to be openly in love with Tyler. To hold him, to kiss him, to make him laugh. I missed everything.

"So that's Josh, huh?" Tyler asked, trying to inject a fake substitute of his usual joy into his words, but I knew him. Much like before, I couldn't be tricked by the cheap replacement of the real joy that once flooded Tyler's voice.

"Yeah," I said as I watched them disappear around a corner. "She's super in love with him. She hasn't told me but I can just tell through our sibling bond, y'know? I haven't had a chance to interrogate Josh yet, but trust me, it will come in its due time. We can tag-team it if you want: the interviewee into the interviewer."

"Yeah, I'd love to do that if I'm still here."

A heavy silence hung over us after those words slid past his lips. The heavy reality that there was a possibility that Tyler could be viciously ripped away from me and I couldn't do anything about it. The thought instantly killed my playfulness.

I sighed. "Ty, baby, don't say stuff like that, okay? That woman isn't worthy of being in your head, so there's no reason to let what-ifs bring you down, okay?"

He nodded, though his eyes didn't meet mine.

"I need to hear you say it," I pushed as I used my finger to gently guide his head up so he was looking at me.

"Okay," he mumbled just before the warning bell rang. "We should head to class."

"Alright, but text me if you need me, Ty. And I mean that."

"Okay," he repeated as a hoard of students started filling the hallway. "I will, promise." With that, he turned and started heading for his first hour.

"Ti amo." The words slid from my lips once he'd already turned and started walking away. Though I knew he couldn't hear it, I just needed to say it. However, to my surprise, he turned back toward me and mouthed "I love you too". A smile made its way onto my face as a giddy feeling filled me up from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.