Break In My Heart

23. Playing Hero

Tyler wasted no time shutting the studio door behind him before he sat down on the couch next to me and put his head in his hands. His fragile mask of composure was crumbling before my eyes, disintegrating like sand, revealing the scared boy beneath. It was the most distraught and scared I'd ever seen him.

"Tyler, I–"

"I mean, I first heard about it in fourth period from Lauren, one of the cheerleaders, but she had no idea it was us, thank God, but then I started hearing it more and more and I was so upset and confused and scared. I-I wanted to confront Kyra about it since everyone kept telling me that it was the dance team girls spreading it, but then I realized that I could make it worse and then I thought about you and how scared you must be and then I heard the boys talking in the locker room and..." His rambling died on his lips as he lifted his heavy gaze to meet mine. "Addison, what's going on? Why would she do this?"

The way his voice slightly broke and the moisture that he continuously kept trying to blink away felt like a stab directly in my heart. What had I done? He was scared because of something I caused, something that I should've warned him about weeks ago, instead of being such a coward and hiding everything from him.

Now it was time to make things right.

God, please be with me.

I took a shaky deep breath. "I haven't been honest with you." I could barely hear my words as they slid past my lips.

"What?" Disbelief rang in his tone as he looked at me.

I broke eye contact. "I...Everything is my fault, completely and totally. Kyra's been beyond pissed since she caught us. I know I told you that already, but I've been downplaying how serious it is. Severely. It's all because I broke a promise to her, a stupid promise that I should've never made in the first place but I was really emotional and I really thought I could keep it at the time but–"

"Addison, spit it out," Tyler said, his voice stoic and foreign.

"I...The night of the football game, before I kissed you, we broke up, but you already knew that. Except, not really. I mean, she called a break on us. She's been dealing with stuff at home and...well, she said she wanted a break and she promised to come back to me. I didn't verbally promise anything back, but I insinuated it. I think a part of me knew that I was going to break that promise but at the time I really thought..." My words died on my tongue as I shook my head. "It doesn't matter what I thought. What matters is that I gave in to my desires for you before I one-hundred percent broke things off with Ky. My feelings for you were just so strong and I really didn't want to lose you so I–"

"Lied to me," Tyler finished. "So you lied to me."

I looked up at him, feverishly shaking my head. "No, Ty, of course not. We were broken up. But I–"

"–were expected to go back to her. Addison, what the hell?" He stood up, frustration and borderline anger radiating off of him in waves. "You came onto me and messed with my emotions when you still had a girl waiting for you. That's messed up man. You made me think that you and her had a clean break, no strings attached!"

"Because that's what it was to me! I know it sounds stupid, but that's what it was to me, honest. Please...sit back down and let me finish explaining. I know you don't owe me anything, but please let me finish. Please."

His gaze was hard as he stared down at me, his chocolate brown eyes holding so much heat that I had to resist the urge to fidget. After a few moments, he sat down next to me, though he made sure there was plenty of space between us. Not an inch of our bodies was touching and I was hyper-aware of that. I was also hyper-aware of how cold the studio actually was without Tyler there to warm me. "Finish." His tone and demeanor were completely different than they usually were, and though I couldn't blame him, the person next to me wasn't the same boy who'd been laying with me in my bed this morning as he kissed me and made me blush. This person was a stranger. A stranger of my making.