destroy me, king

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/21489412

~✰~

This flight is taking way too long.

That's all that was running through Harry's mind as he sat in his big, fluffy first class seat, his knee bouncing up and down. He couldn't really figure out whether it was nerves or anticipation. Maybe it was a lovely mix of both. Who knew? He just wanted to get home.

He'd tried sleeping for a while on his long trip from New York back to London, having just finished his stint on SNL and spending time with friends, but it didn't last long. Maybe an hour into his flight, his eyes had popped open, his phone vibrating in his pocket. It was either someone congratulating him for SNL and his new single or a friend he'd just seen saying that it was nice to see him.

He had to admit, as far as his trips to New York went, he'd loved this one the most. Hosting Saturday Night Live was one of the best experiences he'd had as of late. The sketches were fun, the people were great, and he finally got to debut Watermelon Sugar after watching all his fans on twitter freak out for weeks over when they thought he was going to release it. After teasing them with all his vague answers and asterisks.

He was getting some heat for the comment that he'd made about Zayn, calling him Ringo, but what people didn't understand was that he didn't hold any ill will towards the man. It was a funny thing the writers had set up for him that simply commented on the fact that Zayn had left the band first. There were of course some people who deemed it unnecessary and claimed he had some kind of hatred or vendetta toward him but that was completely ridiculous for someone who deeply cared for the lad once upon a time.

They drifted sure but would he really take that out on him? Its both their faults, really but they'd been on this incredible journey together and he wouldn't forget that or him. Especially with the fact that he knew his boyfriend missed Zayn as well but would never admit it because he was still upset about a few things.

Speaking of his boyfriend, Louis had sent him a text before he'd taken off, claiming he was proud of him and that he couldn't wait until he got home. It made him smile quite fondly, all the more ready to be touching down in London and on his way back to the house they shared.

Some of the content on SNL had been quite a bit braver than things he would usually say out loud and it felt like a step towards freedom to be able to. A few years ago, everyone he worked with would have had a conniption if he even eluded to the fact that he'd consider sex with anyone of the male gender, even if it was a joke.

Referring to Louis as someone who he had considered a brother was a little hard for him to do without breaking down and laughing but one stern look from someone on the sidelines reminded him that he needed to retain his composure. Though, he did wonder what Louis had thought about it.

He knew his older boyfriend had watched the show the day after it aired because he'd been busy performing and considering all of the provocative things he'd said, he wished he could be inside Louis' mind.

Louis did send him a text message, he assumed while he watched, because it read "Nice collar, baby" and he'd flushed as he was out to dinner with friends and some of the cast members again.

Obviously he wasn't very shy anymore. He wasn't that same teenage boy who just wanted people to like him anymore. Of course, its nice when people like you, but not when you pretend to be someone else just to fit that mold of someone people can be fond of. He was tired of it.

He had pressed the lines of masculine and feminine fashion many times before but the ballerina outfit they'd taken pictures of him in for SNL took the cake in his opinion. Even though he'd made it very clear he wasn't going to fit into some perfect box of total masculinity, he was pretty sure that those pictures had completely destroyed it for good.

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