just take the pain away - 3/3

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/13096299?view_adult=true

here's part three to the 'i gotta get better' series

~✰~

When Louis got from work, Harry knew something was wrong. He could tell by how plump and swollen his eyes were, how his hands were shaking lightly and also by the way he walked, as if he felt uncomfortable in his own body.

By the way Louis was sweating and just about to cry, Harry knew he was about to have a breakdown. He hadn't had one in months, not after Harry started to take care of him the way he did. And the curly guy thought they were already over this, but it was obvious Louis had had a really tough day. He was dying to take him into his arms and kiss him all over his face, whispering sweet nothings and assuring him everything would be okay. But it wouldn't help Louis, it wouldn't make everything worst. He knew it, he had tried.

Louis was staring down at the floor, taking deep breaths to keep himself calm but it was too hard. He could tell he was about to have a panic attack and that made everything worse. He saw Harry's feet right in front of him and sniffed shakily. He didn't want Harry to see him like this, because he knew he would be disappointed. He wasn't good enough, he had never been. "Harry, I..." he started but he was cut off with a hard slap on his right cheek. His teary eyes widened and he looked up at Harry surprise. He wasn't expecting that. "Haz" he whispered, but he was quickly rewarded with another slap. He knew what that meant, and his whole body was craving for it. "Sir" he whimpered and Harry smirked.

"Clothes off" Harry demanded simply looking at him with dark eyes. The smaller boy did as he was told, taking off all his clothes quickly and waiting for the next instruction. He had been thinking about this the whole day, about Harry making him stop overthinking everything, making him calm down. And this was the only way he would get there when he was this upset and shook. They had tried everthing, and Harry used to be so scared of hurting him for real, but the thing was he needed it rough. It wasn't easy at first, both of them had to learn what their limits were, how far Harry could take Louis without hurting him and also making sure he knew he would be able to bring him back, to take care of him during the whole time. Now they were experts. Louis trusted in Harry blindly, and he knew Harry felt a lot confident himself. He could tell only by how firm the tone of his voice was. "Hands and knees."

Louis moved to his hands and knees obediently and almost purred when Harry tangled his fingers with his hair. He crawled on all fours as his boyfriend pulled from it, feeling so little, so out of himself. It was so easy, to follow Harry like this, to let go. It was so easy for him to get naked and let Harry control him like no one else could. To show him his most submissive side. The one no one had ever seen or believed it even existed. Louis was always so outgoing, and bossy, but not when they were like this. When they were like this, he was tiny, he was Harry's and no one else's.

Harry led Louis to the living room and stopped him in front of the television. "I said hands and knees" he told him calmly but firmly when Louis sat up on his knees, quickly going back to his initial position. He heard Harry leaving the room but he couldn't see where he was going. When he came back he put a gag on Louis' mouth without saying a word. Louis didn't complain when Harry sat on the couch and placed his feet on his back as if he was a coffee table. And he didn't complain, not even once, when Harry put on a movie and left him like that for two long and painful hours.

Harry knew exactly what he was doing. It wasn't even a sexual thing, even though he could see Louis was hardening already. It was all about control, about being used and letting go. He made himself focus on the movie and didn't say a word, even though he was too aware of Louis' uneven breath.

By the time the movie ended, Louis was fully hard and his back was aching, but he was so much calmer than before. Harry pulled his legs away and walked out of the room to grab the next things they were going to need. Lube, clothed and a rule. He left everything on the couch and moved to face the boy, running his fingers through his hair slowly. "Good boy" he praised and Louis felt his cock twitching with want. "But you need more, don't you? This is not enough." Louis nodded quickly and Harry slapped his cheek hard.

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