Back To You // Peter Hayes

pistanthrophobia

fear of trusting people due to past experiences of relationships gone bad

The stone grey walls felt as if they were closing in around me, I shuffled into the corner of the closet and closed the door carefully behind me. His footsteps echoed through the house, shaking me to my core as the sound rang like shotgun fire. I threw my hand to my mouth, deepening my breath and tried to silence myself, the tears spilled from my eyes and onto the carpet. A large figure entered the room, casting a shadow over the porcelain-coloured walls. Most days had been like this, since Toby left me here. Marcus's shadow approached the doors of the closet I hid in and he stopped, tapping his foot slowly on the ground,

"You can't hide forever Bonnie. I know you told him to leave, I know all about your little plan. You'll pay for it." he sneered. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath as it went silent, the tapping stopped. The closet doors burst open and Marcus stood in frame, a belt held tight in his fist and a menacing look on his face. He screwed his face up in anger and raised the belt buckle above his head, his arm swished down and-

"NO!" I shouted. Heavily panting, I looked around me coming to the realisation that I was safe, I was in Dauntless now, not there. A cold sweat broke out across my forehead as I sat up in my bed, slowing my breathing. A low grumble arose from Peter's bed beside me and he sat up, wiping his eyes and struggling to keep them open when he yawned, "What was that?" he asked, trying to focus his vision.

"Nothing Peter, go back to sleep." I told him, climbing out of my bed towards the bathroom. I ran the tap in the sink and splashed the cool water over my face, it felt soothing as my temperature dipped and I felt more awake. My blissful peace was quickly interrupted by Peter's annoying noises. "What now?" I groaned at him,

"Nothing, nothing...just that you got the tattoo I suggested." he grinned, now conveniently fully awake,

"Yeah, so? For once you were right about something." I stated,

"I'm always right, princess." he retorted, laying in his bed with his arms over the back of his head. I dried my hands and face off and sat on my bed,

"I'd beg to differ."

"Really? So if I'm so wrong, you're gonna tell me you weren't having a nightmare just now and you're not trying to cover it up." he raised an eyebrow, I didn't reply, "So I am right. What was it about?" he looked over at me, his eyes glistened in the dim light and his face bore genuine concern. I still remained silent, "Oh c'mon Baby, you can tell me. I'm not cruel enough to use it against you, yeah I'm an ass, but not that much of an ass." I rolled my eyes, giving him the 'you really think I'm going to believe that?' face. "Whatever," his tone shifted and he sounded pissed off, in a way. "I'm going back to sleep."

I got dressed quickly after that, there was no way I'd be able to fall asleep again now, not after what I saw in my  head. I made my way out of the compound for a run around the block. It felt nice to get out, the daylight didn't quite reach the inside of Dauntless, the only light in the training room was made up of cheap, fluorescent strip lights and tiny box windows you'd usually find in prisons. The sun beat down in rays of scorching heat, making me understand why we trained inside with air conditioning as beads of sweat dripped into my eyes the more I ran.

When I arrived back at the compound, another fight was already underway. Tris caught up to me, walking towards the main ring, "Hey where did you go? Everyone's been looking for you all morning."

"I just went for a run, needed to get out for a little while." I reassured her as we joined the others. Will pulled me in for a side hug but never shifted his focus from the fight. Christina was up against Molly and losing, badly. She was on the floor covered in sweat, blood running down her lips. Molly raised her fist to punch again but Chris threw her hands up in front of her trying to stop her,

"No. No. I'm done. I'm done." she breathed heavily,

"You need to stop?" Eric asked, she nodded "Okay. Let me give you a hand." This doesn't feel right, Eric wouldn't normally be this nice. I thought back to what he originally said about rules regarding conceding, something was definitely off. "Alright, let's everyone take a break!" Eric lead us all on a walk towards the pit, we crossed the bridge over the chasm and Eric placed his hand in the middle of Chris's back, causing Tris and I to share an uneasy glance, being cautious of his next moves.

He suddenly pushed Chris off the edge, grabbing her hand and dangling her off the ledge, "Grab the rail," he told her "Or don't." He dropped her hand and she caught onto the edge of the railing, I stepped forward wanting to help her but Edward's arm came out of nowhere, blocking Tris and I from interfering. "You got three options. Hang there and I'll forget your cowardice, fall and die, or give up. But if you give up you're out."

She hung on the rail , knuckles turning white, for what felt like forever. Water rushing beneath her sprayed up the sides of the chasm, splashing onto her hands and making her slip, "Time!" Eric called out. Tris and Edward jumped forward to help Christina pull herself over the ledge, I moved too but someone grabbed my wrist tightly from behind, stopping me from helping. "Dauntless never give up." Eric shouted to the rest of us, "Let that be a lesson to all of you."

I turned around to see who grabbed my wrist but everyone had already begun walking away from the chasm, leaving me clueless.

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Four took us out to the fence in the afternoon, we all had to wear special bulletproof vests and gear despite there being no danger. "As Dauntless we fight to protect every life inside the fence without fail. That's why we train you the way we do, to teach you not to give up, and to find out who has what it takes. I know it's been quiet out there for years, but that could change at any moment. So we have to be ready for anything." he says, as we stood on one of the platforms of the fence. Looking out, all I could see was Amity farms, the horizon seemed impossibly empty, like the whole world was empty and we were the only people left. It made me wonder what the rest of the world looked like, was it in ruins like our home? Or were there places still standing? Maybe all of it became nothing but dust, I dreaded to think that I'd never find out,

"What's out there?" Tris asked, as if reading my thoughts,

"Monsters." Chris joked,

Al gave a more sensible answer, "Amity farms."

"No, I know. Beyond that." she insisted

"Places that never recovered from the war." Will stated

"Do you know?" Tris turned to Four,

"Let's just say they built the fence for a reason." he replied darkly.