Back To You // Peter Hayes

epiphany

a moment of sudden revelation

I found myself back at the chasm in the middle of the night, after another failed attempt at sleeping. I wish these nightmares could just go away, not only are they waking me up all the time but it's almost like I'm scared of even going to sleep. I know that as soon as I close my eyes, I'll see his face again. I talked to Tobias about it, he said they go away after a while, his got worse during the second stage of initiation too. I'd already figured he had the same fear as me. I just wish there was a way to make it all disappear, of course coming to the chasm helped a little, something about the sound of water was comforting to me.

"Thought I'd find you out here." Peter came over and sat down next to me, his voice was raspy and he sounded weak. I looked over at him and my heart dropped when I saw the state of his face - his lip was busted, split open; there was a huge purple bruise across his cheekbone, stretching down to his jaw, making half his face swollen and red. He'd also managed to cut his eyebrow, slitting it at one side.

Without thinking, my hand rushed up to his cheek to check the injuries, "What the fuck happened to you?" he winced slightly as my hand came into contact with his face,

"Nothing," he smiled weakly, "Don't worry about it." he pulled my hand away from his face and held it in his lap. His eyes finally met mine and I tried to read him, he looked almost guilty? "When are you gonna tell me what all these nightmares are about?" he changed the subject,

That's crazy. I can't tell him. It's like the hero telling the villain how to defeat them. "When I can trust you." I looked away and pulled my hand away from his,

"I'm going to change, I promised you that, didn't I?" he tried to look me in the eyes again but I dodged his gaze, "You'll never be able to trust me if you never give me a chance."

He wasn't wrong. And I'm a big believer in second chances, "They're about my father." I sighed, looking down at the water below,

"Your father?" he frowned,

"You know I told you I ran into some trouble in Abnegation and that's why I left?" he nodded, "My father was the trouble, he abused me and my brother, and it only got worse after my brother's choosing ceremony. He used to protect me, but when he was gone, I couldn't escape, so I ran away." my eyes begun to sting a little as I tried to hold back the tears, "That's what's in my nightmares, and my fear landscape. It just feels like no matter where I go, I can't escape him."

Peter didn't say anything. He pulled me into his arms, one of his hands slipping into my hair as he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I'd given up all hope of trying to keep myself together and melted into his arms, pulling him into an even tighter hug, "He can't get to you now, and if he does, I've got you." he pulled away and held out his pinky finger.

This boy will never fail to confuse me, i frowned but smiled lightly as I locked my pinky with his.

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"Do you guys know where Tris went last night? She never came back into the dorm." Chris asked, we'd just sat down for breakfast in the cafeteria and Chris was poking at the eggs on her plate,

"I haven't seen her," I shrugged, "Actually I haven't seen Al either."

"Last I saw him was last night, he was pretty on-edge." Will chimed in. Al's been acting weird for a little while now so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary, but something weird was going on.

"Oh shit there she is!" Chris pointed to the doorway. Tris walked in, her hair was all in a mess and she looked pretty rough, she spotted us and shakily sat down at the table, "Is that your sweater?" Tris was wearing a guy's sweater, you could tell since it swamped her figure,