Back To You // Peter Hayes

liberosis

the desire to care less about things

"Hey are you alright?" Will found me an hour later as I was sat on the edge of the chasm, listening to the waves crashing against the rocks below. I wiped the tears from my eyes when he sat down next to me,

"Yeah I'm fine." I smiled weakly,

"Bullshit. Was it what Peter said about Marcus?" he asked to which I replied with a silent nod. Will and Jeanine were the only ones who knew about my real family and where I came from, I wouldn't trust anyone else with the truth just yet. "He's an aggravator Baby, we all know it, you've just got to keep ignoring it and block him out. But judging by the cut on your neck, you already knew that. Seriously, what actually happened earlier? You guys seemed really tense when you came back."

"He wanted a rematch from our fight the other day, kept trying to tell me he let me win. So naturally, to prove him wrong, I agreed."

"And he pulled out a knife on you?" Will frowned,

"No.....that was, um, that was me." I shrunk down where I was sitting, attempting to hide from the disappointed and somewhat pissed-off look on Will's face. "Oh c'mon Steel, I was caught in the moment and he had a knife in his holster, I grabbed it out of reflex." I defended my actions while slightly questioning my need to over-explain myself.

"Yeah but you could've got killed, you realise that right?" he snapped

"I guess so." I sighed and stared down at my hands in my lap, losing the energy to bother arguing with him, "For someone who came out here to cheer me up, you're doing a pretty shitty job."

"I'm sorry Bon, you know I care about you. I don't want him hurting you." he wrapped his arm over my shoulder, pulling me in gently for a side-hug.

"Bit late for that." I said, meaning it in more ways than he could ever guess.

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1 week later

Today is meant to be the last day in hand-to-hand combat training. I guess Eric will put me up against Edward today since he's the strongest one here and the only initiate at my level I haven't fought yet. I want to believe I'll win, but Edward's a combination of both brains and brawn so won't be as dumb as the others who didn't memorise textbook combat tactics. Yes, he actually memorised an entire textbook on it when we were back in Erudite. Not only is Edward much stronger and smarter than me, I know I'll lose based off how exhausted I've been lately. Emotionally and Physically. My fight with Peter last week drew the last straw for my emotional state. I couldn't explain it, ever since day one we were at each other's throats, but somehow, after having that argument it's felt like there is hole in my life. It doesn't make sense. If I hate him so much, why does it feel odd without him around?

"What's she doing here?" I drifted out of my own thoughts to the sound of Will's voice. We were walking down the east passage towards the training room when we encountered a large group of Erudite being accompanied by Dauntless leaders. In the centre of it all was of course, Jeanine Matthews, my 'mother' figure, the leader of Erudite.

She noticed us walking towards her and she looked at me contently, "Bonnie, how lovely to see you again. How are you finding it in your new faction?" her tone towards me was different to how it used to be. I don't know why I expected any different from her, I knew as soon as I left, she would drop any connection with me as quickly as she could. She even called me by my real name, losing all sense of sincerity and turning to formality.

"It's going quite well actually, thanks." I smiled,

"That's lovely to hear." She turned to Will, who stood beside me, "William! I always knew wherever Bonnie went, you'd soon follow. How are you finding Dauntless?"