Toxic (JIKOOK) COMPLETED

14.

  Four months into my pregnancy and my only work was to just eat, sleep and that's all... Jungkook told me to resign from my job and I did it. It's not like he forced me but I did it myself as I used to get too tired at my workplace...

Jungkook had forbidden me to do any house chores. He was the one to do it all. He was the one to make us breakfast and dinner and for lunch, he brought me whatever I was craving from the nearby fast food cafe and then again go back to office.

He was the one to make dinner after coming back from work and he even ordered late night snacks for me.

He hesitated talking to me, thinking I won't respond back. He used to avoid my gaze but take care of my each and every necessities.

He didn't only apologize to me but he showed me through his actions too about how much apologetic he really was.

He tagged along with me to every checkups and I just couldn't be more thankful to him, but I didn't show it..

He was calm, patient and understanding. I didn't know he had that side to him but I was finally starting to feel happy.

Jungkook was starting to make me feel things again. He eventually became that old and sweet kookie whom I fell for or we can say, he became even more sweeter.

Couldn't he have stayed the same? If he had, I won't have been comprehending to return his affection.......

I wanted to hug him, kiss him and tell him not to try hard to coax me because he already had melted my heart but every then and now when I got flashes of him being that cruel towards me in the past, I was scared of him going back to how he was and I stopped myself from approaching him.

He was self- reflecting on his mistakes but there are some mistakes which can't be forgiven and even if it's forgiven, it can't just be forgotten so easily. The trauma stays with you forever and you hesitate and feel scared to trust anyone again.

And that was what I was experiencing!

I still flinched when he came near to me and I could decipher the guilt in his eyes. Despite all his efforts, I was having very hard time to trust him again.

I had this will to scream at him and tell him not to approach me but my conscience stopped me to do so.

Despite him treating me as trash in the past, I couldn't be angry at him. I stayed quiet even when he abused me....so how could I tell someone to back off when he was trying his best to make our relationship work once again...

I did know he was the who made a joke out of our bond, treating me less as a human.... I was in the verge of taking my own life. I even hesitated to use the pregnancy kit.

I thought he would straight up tell me to abort our child and he did the same.
But that was all in the past, he was changing.....he was being the old him...

And what surprised me the most was he brought his sister over to our house and made her apologize to me... I was baffled for a while not being able to comprehend what was going on..

But nevertheless I forgave her. She said nasty things to me and I slapped her in return. There was no reason for me to not to forgive her and besides I did that for jungkook.

He smiled after I did so...

The amount of humiliation, pain, sorrow I tolerated just to keep that smile plastered on his face was beyond to infinity.

Even when I lost my own smile while tolerating his brutality, I wasn't able to hate him and definitely not after he was showering me with love and affection.

And thus, my emotions took the best of me and I found myself forgiving him and giving us an another chance...