That Winter You Came (Completed)

Episode 11

We had exactly two days before the summer vacations.
So my meeting with Salim only lasted for three days.
In those three days . he filled my life with warmth and worth that i had no single thought about Rayan.
Instead i laughed at his jokes, i felt like a part of his family when he talked about them.. He even told me about his plans of joining the army after highschool.
_" books aren't made for me .. And god didn't give me such long legs to squeeze them behind a desk" he joked.
So i couldn't but laugh.
When he asked me about my plans i honestly said:
_" i don't know, i'm going to college but only god knows what college would that be"
_"definitely not a college for languages .. With your capacities in french victor hugo will come back from his grave and curse the whole Algerian system" he teased.
So i gave him a displeased look and teased:
_" and with your capacities in running and jumping the whole war would end before you even reach the war field"
He suddenly stopped talking .. Gave me this worm look and hushed:
_" i'm slow, even in loving you .. But i always reach the end of the line. Would you be patient with me?"
I felt all the blood rush to my face .. So i lowered my eyes and nodded.
After our last day in high school came to an end, Salim walked me to the school gate .. And then as i waved him goodbye he suddenly walked closer to me and said:
_" i'll walk you home"
I looked at him hesitated but before i said any word he interrupted me:
_" i'll just walk you as far as i can.. I don't want your brother to see us either"
Sure Salim was tall .. But that brother of mine spent his life punching and kicking. If he saw his precious sister with that tall boy. He'd have planted him on earth.
_"ok" i hardly said.
So we started walking in small steps.
Although i'm not that short of a girl .. But the difference of heights was so clear. I only reached the middle of his chest. He must found it very hard to walk in my slow pace.. But the smile on his face said he was happy being with me though.
When we reached some corner i looked at him apologetically and said:
_" my brother usually wonder around this street so this is as far as we can go.
He nodded.. And then he suddenly reached to his pocket and brought out something shining.
He reached his hand to me and with a smile he said:
_" this is for you"
It was a scarf accessory .. A silver rose with silver beautiful leafs and colorful pearls.
I looked at this beautiful gift he gave me and i felt like my face couldn't contain my smile.
_" this is the first time i ever buy something for a girl. I hope it's convenient"
_" it's so beautiful. Thank you soo much " i almost shouted joyfully.
I looked at his pale eyes. Although their color was blue .. But they held the warmth i never saw even in the dark eyes.
He didn't even love me .. But he treated me as if i was his most cherished treasure.
And i didn't actually love him too. But i was so happy i wished those eyes would accompany me to my grave.
Sometimes we don't need a platonic love to be happy in a relationship. Respect and devotion are enough.
_" can i expect you to call me this summer?" He asked hesitantly.
At that time .. Only few people had facebook and what's ever. And at that time .. Calling someone's boyfriend in phone was like a sin to be punished for.
Salim understood the way my family was thinking. So he didn't want to push me.
I looked at him and said:
_" i'll definitely call you whenever i get the chance"
_"call me anytime then . i'll be waiting"
When i finally saw the last trace of his shadow disappear and was left alone i stood still in the same spot like a statue. i held that scarf pin in my hands and raised it high in the sky joyfully.
I was so happy with it that i kept staring at it for so long only smiling like a dumb.
That was my first gift ever from a boyfriend.
But of course Rayan had to have his feet in all my firsts.
Because when i was celebrating my gift Rayan and Layla walked passed me.
As i watched the couple walk away i admitted to my self that Layla sure has bigger guts and less face than me to allow her boyfriend to walk her until her door and kiss her in a closed room.
But to be honest .. The moment i saw them my heart started hurting me again.
Not even the glowing of the scarf pin could enlighten the darkness for me.
I stood still in my place just watching them walk away when they suddenly stopped not so far from me .. Chatted about something . and then Rayan waved her goodbye.
After she walked few steps away he suddenly turned to walk my way again!
My heart was like a drum in an Egyptian song. The more Rayan got closer to me .. The louder and faster it beat.
And then when he reached me .. It all went silent.
I lowered my gaze and pretended i didn't even know him. I squeezed the arm of my bag so hard and then i started walking too lately of course.
i barely walked few steps when he suddenly said:
_" it's a beautiful pin isn't it? .. His sister helped him buy it from our shop yesterday"
Everytime he talks he forgets to great me. To do some introductions .. He would immediately jump in the middle of the topic leaving others confused.
I took long moments before finally understanding that he was talking about my scarf pin. That he probably saw Salim buying it for me and that they owned a shop for accessories.
After long thinking i said:
_" indeed .. It's so beautiful"
After i finished talking .. We both remained silent.
Only staring at each other.
Not wanting to be close to him any longer, i took the chance to say:
_" i should leave now . happy holidays"
_" why do you hate me?" He suddenly asked.
Not even looking at me .
His face was looking at the ground .. And his bang covered his eyes.
I found his question so sudden and impropriate.
I had many reasons for hating him but i couldn't tell them of course.
_" why do you hate me?" He childishly asked again, only this time .. He was actually looking at me with his eyes full of resentment.
And i didn't answer again.
_" my mother said she hated me but i know why, my father said he hated me and he had his reasons. I'm hated by all the people i once loved for their reasons but i don't know why "you" hate me. I can't spend three months of summer thinking about that so you have to justify your feelings"
Those words stupefied the 16 years old me.
And those words make the 27 me pity him.
He was very young to endure such repulse from his family. I only thought it was a teenage's tantrum at that time.. I had no idea about the amount of pain his confession carried.
_" is it because of the incident in winter? I already corrected things and asked everyone not to give you a hard time again. Is it because of the English project? I already got two days of detention defending you! Besides Layla you were the only girl i treated well in class so tell me what i did to deserve your hatred!"
He must have thought about my words for so long.
Sometimes " i hate you" .. Is much powerful than "i love you".
I didn't give his words much thinking before i selfishly mumbled:
_" you don't care whether i loved you or hated you. Do you?"
_" standing here, asking for a reason means i do care" he replied coldly.
_" it's because i loved you you dumb and you broke my heart. And now i only wish you never talk to me again" i shouted impatiently..
And then when i realised the stupid thing i've just said . i started running to my house without stopping to catch a breath.
I  promised my self to take my love for him to my grave .. But i broke that promise like i broke all my promises.
I was never a woman of her word.