season 3: Episode 2

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When you're looking at the rising face of sun .. Your shadow must always be behind you.
I was thinking of this particular saying when I met Imad again Knowing i was somehow standing at the edge between light and dark in his life.
Our meeting after so many years wasn't a coincidence at all, it was well planned.
I remember it was one monday morning of march when i suddenly received a call from Rayan, it was so rare of him to call me during my shift so i picked up right away afraid that something urgent must have happened with him.
_"i with Imad right now" was what he said after asking how i was doing.
I was both so surprised and overjoyed that i yelled right away: 
_" hand him the phone! I want to speak to him!" 
And that was how we ended up settling a meeting he and I, both wanting to glimmer the memories we had of each other.
I didn't have so much of news from imad since i've last seen him years earlier, all i knew is that he was promoted to a higher rank in the army or so i understood from him. And that he was still single like always.
I always used this advantage for my own good of course, whenever a single colleague nurse started acting reluctant towards me i would shamelessly bring out my phone and start going through the pictures i had of Imad, i would very purposefully let go a long sigh and then look at the aimed nurse and comment: 
_" such a handsome face and a nice figure is indeed a national resource, can you believe that this fine gentleman who has a good rank in the army and impeccable manners still find it hard to find a suitable wife nowadays ?" 
And with that being said, i would welcome a new cooperating nurse who is ready to switch shifts with me whenever i ask and who would occasionally bring an extra lunch box by accident full of god's goods for me to eat.
I've been always thankful that such a handsome man like Imad was a friend of mine, truth be told he's way more handsome than any men around me Rayan included too, but it was his cold and careless manners that made all females dare not to walk closer, and the fact that he loved one particular girl for so long. These details of course can't show in the pictures i had of him in my phone.
Since i was so grateful for all the amends Imad has offered for me thanks to his gorgeous face, i felt so generous to invite him on my treat to a nice traditional restaurant.
I dressed my self very nicely for our meeting, i especially put good makeup and chose to put on my pink scarf that i was told makes me look even prettier.
When i was finally feeling satisfied with my look in the mirror, i was so happy that i generously looked at my mother's puzzled expression and said: 
_"if you tell me that i look pretty today, i will buy you that well sutured hijab you liked in the shop" 
An offer which she gladly answered to: 
_" you look like the face of moon masha allah my sweet daughter" 
I took a bus, and then i walked the rest of the distance until i finally arrived at the restaurant were we agreed to go, but once i was close enough i was surprised not only to find the then muscular and short haired handsome Imad, but to find Rayan also standing beside him both waiting for me in front of the restaurant: 
_" it's been such a long time, how are you doing Nadia?" Imad asked once i reached them.
But i was so overwhelmed with my emotions finally meeting him after so long that i started crying right away and yelling: 
_"how dare you show your face only after so long you heartless soldier! i'm going to ruin the make up i spent a long time applying because of you!" 
He smiled to me so bright and hushed: 
_" you never asked to see me either, that makes us even" 
But we both were fully aware why we didn't meet for so long, because i knew he was going to ask about yassmine, and he knew i was going to be honest and say that she was most happy getting engaged to our best friend. And we both knew that he would fail to act like if it was ok when he was actually hurt.
Talking through the phone and acting busy when such intimate moments came was fine, but it's hard to hide the pain if we met, me of all people knows all about that. And that was why i got so emotional when both of us gathered our courage to meet.
When i was trying to stop my tears in front of the two men Rayan reached to the small bag he was holding and handed me a tissue.
_" there's no helping it, you already look like a panda" Rayan facelessly commented.
I gave him an intimidating gaze and answered: 
_" i was going to fix my face without out your smart remark anyways" 
_"let's go inside" Imad laughed.
After i fixed my self in the restroom i finally joined the two men in the table, they were already talking about buildings and calculations so i didn't want to interrupt: 
_" how did you get back together?" Imad suddenly asked out of the blue.
I didn't know how i should answer that, so i just looked at rayan waiting for him to reply, to be honest, me myself i was curious to know his answer: 
_" we met again at the hospital where she's working now" Rayan suddenly said, he looked at me for a moment, with those soft and warm eyes i rarely see and then he continued with a smile rearranging the fork and spoon on the table in front of him : 
_" i met her in the hospital with some dude working with her" 
_" that's Nadia that i know!" Imad weirdly commented.
I looked at them both angry and shouted addressing both of them: 
_"what does standing beside a colleague have to do with you knowing me? And you Rayan, why are you making this sound so awful!" 
They both ignored me though. Rayan with a laughter continued: 
_" i had to go back to her" 
_" i get it man" 
After i heard those words, i wanted to slap my past self who stupidly waited for more elaborated and passionate explanation. I was stupid.
I coldly ordered my meal .. Coldly listened to them going around football and army stuff, and then i coldly took my meal feeling like an outcast.
At some point i got enough of them ignoring me despite all the effort i made to meet Imad i looked at them and coldly declared: 
_" just so as you know, i'm not paying for this meal" 
_"of course you're not, it's Rayan's treat since i earnestly disclosed the date and place of our meeting" Salim winked while saying that.
I looked at Rayan's escaping eyes and asked: 
_" that's right, i was supposed to meet Imad all alone, why are you here?" 
_" because i miss you" he sneakily and shockingly answered.
I don't know what other girls hear of beautiful words from their boyfriends because i definitely hear none, and that was why i got so embarrassed and clueless when rayan suddenly said he missed me.
All i could remember was that i remained silent for the rest of the lunch.
When the meeting finally ended and we were about to part ways, Imad suddenly stood close to me when Rayan was waiting to pay the treat, he bowed to reach my ears and then he hushed: 
_"you look very pretty today by the way, but it was dangerous to say that" 
He stood up straight again and started laughing.
_"you dare laugh!" I uttered.
_"being with you when he's around is like walking in a mine field blindfolded" Imad said seriously.
He turned to look at Rayan .. So i followed his eyes.
The man in front of us looked so different from the one of our past, he smiled more and was more open. He seemed like he gained his soul back.
_"i'll never forgive you if you hurt him again" Imad suddenly threatened.
I turned to look at him again.. He was still looking at rayan as if he was looking at his own reflexion.
_" i might as well shoot you by accident" he laughed .. And then he turned to look at me again with those soft eyes of his and said: 
_" make him happy" 
After the meeting was over i finally noticed that we haven't mentioned Yassmine at all nor even Badro. And that i was worried all along for nothing.
Rayan was walking me to the bus station.. We both didn't speak until i finally said: 
_" how dare you come intrude to my meeting with Imad?" 
_"i wanted to meet him too" 
I was about to say something back when he added: 
_"and how dare you come to meet him looking so beautiful, you don't even make that effort for me" 
_"how so! ..i even made the effort to wear red from head to toe in the burning summer just to see you, but you wouldn't notice anyways" 
He turned to look at a near tight street entry, and then he suddenly grabbed my bag and pulled me towards it.
I was so surprised with his sudden actions that i yelled: 
_"what are you doing?" 
But he just made me turn around so as he faces my side profile, and he suddenly rested his head on my shoulder and sighed: 
_" how can you possibly not understand how a man feels around you looking so beautiful?" 
I didn't dare to breathe, or i just forgot how to do that, i was so surprised and confused of what Rayan was doing and saying:
_" i'll come ask for your hand once i graduate and then secure a job, let's get married soon after that because i can't handle waiting longer" 
He suddenly rested his lips on the tip of my shoulder, and then he kissed it! 
Even when it was a kiss above my clothes it was still a kiss! 
I was so shocked that i moved to the side and yelled: 
_" why did you do that for!!" 
Once i finished asking that, i figured out it wasn't exactly the best question to ask.. His face suddenly got red when he mumbled:
_" because i love you of course" 
_" do that again before marriage and i'll kill you!" 
He laughed.. Walked closer to me and then he cupped the sides of my head between his palms. He bent down and kissed my forehead!
Without barriers that time round! 
I was so embarrassed with his sudden boldness and afraid he was going to move to my lips next. I just pushed him away and started walking far from him.
_" don't you dare show me your face for the next days!" I shouted while i was taking big strides.
He laughed soundly behind me and yelled: 
_"you forgot to kill me!" 
When i reached my house again there were two things i regretted regarding that day.
The first was that i didn't take new pictures of Imad to update my continuous scheme of nurse hunting.
The second was that i didn't tell Rayan Amer how much i loved him too.

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