Episode 24

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The summer of 2009 was indeed the longest ever.
There isn't a day that i volunteered to go buy groceries from the street shop that i didn't wish to meet a certain someone.
There isn't a day that i volunteered to fold the wet clothes in the terrace to dry that i didn't wish i'd see a certain someone passing randomly from the street.
I missed that certain someone so much that i often saw him in my dreams. And that i mentioned his name unintentionally when i spoke. Thank god no one noticed this dying in love little girl.
   And when his birthday came in the 17th of June i didn't even have a way to tell him "happy birthday" or wish him happiness.. I never appreciated the benefits of phones like in that summer.
Within the beginning of July .. I was so lovesick that i decided to create my own chance to see Rayan.
Thus, i especially put on my most stylish clothes .. I don't know who was the genius behind the fashion of that time. I wonder if he was sitting aimlessly behind his desk one day and then this stupid idea popped in his head : " let's make girls wear the same color from head to toes!!"
At that time, you'd see so many girls wearing pink sweaters .. Pink tights.. Pink shoes.
Yellow sweaters.. Yellow tights.. Yellow shoes.
And this specific order goes for the most bright and exotic colours.
Since i had to live in that time i had to obey to the rule. And so in the middle of the hell of summer.. I especially dressed my self in Red from head to toes.
Since my brother would get a heart attack if his eyes fell on me looking like a giant tomato, i waited until he left the house and i went down to walk in the street.
I went shopping in the first day.. In vain.
I went to visit my aunt the second day in my blue set instead.. In vain.
The third day i put the red set again and i went in a long tour in the town.. I was with my sister, and i encountered many of my classmates including my ex boyfriend Salim who so gently offered his greetings from a distance but didn't dare to walk closer to have a chat.
In the end .. I went back home without seeing Rayan. Feeling even more lovesick and frustrated.
Just like that the days of summer followed each other.. It wasn't until late August that the school of languages opened courses again and i joined in for more advanced level.
I was walking in the street on my way to school when i happened to meet the looking like an olive Farid at the middle of the street.
Once his eyes fell on me he came to meet me right away. And of course his first words were:
_" oh long time no see Nadia! These have been really short vacations though.. Especially when the one spends them at the beautiful beaches of Bejaia.. Although i preferred to go out of the country. But there isn't better than the local beauty to spend the long days of summer observing."
I just kept nodding my head not even wanting nor having a chance to chat.
This same boring routine went for about a week. Until finally after the third seance in the school when i saw that certain someone i missed more than the life.
I was so surprised to see Rayan standing there at the door of our school waiting for me that i thought i was hallucinating.
He was wearing a white shirt with a black hat above his head. He looked so thin compared to the last time i saw him.. But still the most handsome man on earth.
He looked as happy as i was .. His smile went from ear to ear .. And his eyes never left mine until i reached him.
Can't touch him.. Can't hold him in my arms so tight to believe he really was there.
Can't smell his scent from that distance .. Can't kiss those lips that smiled for me.
Can only see him and satisfy my eyes with his presence. Can only hear his voice and wish never to be separated from him again.
_" how are you?" He said first.
I just nodded..
You see, i missed him so much i was barely holding my tears. I couldn't believe he was there!
Farid in one of the rare occasions when he activated his brain. Or maybe out of fear of getting punched again.. Looked at the both of us and said:
_" i'll leave you two alone.. See you Nadia next Saturday"
After he left.. Rayan and I just kept staring at each other while people passed by us.. One by one.. Until the school door closed and we were there alone.
_" i missed" Rayan suddenly hushed..
With a tone so passionate akin a never ending kiss.
I only nodded again.. And not bearing the flood of my emotions . i started to walk.
He walked by my side.. Both silent. Both picking side looks at each other. Until we finally reached our fence .. And as of that point, we couldn't walk together anymore.
I didn't even say goodbye to him .. I just kept walking not turning back. When i was about ten feet away from him he yelled:
_" i'll come meet you at Saturday!"
I didn't even turn to look at him.
Walking slowly .. Away.
When i was far enough .. I cried so much i couldn't stop.
That's what love does to the one.
The next Saturday i especially put my famous Red set. A full make up. And then i went out.
At 3:00 pm the heat hit the ground like invisible rays of fire. When the little breeze blew it was like walking in the way of a hair dryer. So hot and burning.
By the time i reached the fence i knew that my face already looked like my clothes.
I must have looked really something because soon Rayan eyes fell on me he couldn't stop laughing.
I felt so angry about that!
When the girl spends an hour and a half preparing to meet her boyfriend she definitely doesn't want him to laugh at her.
_" i'm sorry, i'll go buy us something cold to drink .. I've been burning under this heat too" he suggested.
I gave him an impatient look regarding that "too" comment and said:
_" do you know how hard it is to put a scarf in this heat! I feel like it's an oven in my head! How dare you laugh at someone else's hardships!!"
He gave me an apologetic look and mumbled:
_" i see, wearing Red doesn't help either.. White is the best for summer"
I looked at him.. I looked at him again. And then i wanted to punch my self for missing such a faceless monster.

In the future i'd dress my self much more stylishly. I'd put more professional make up. I'd walk around in the street and i'll be treated like a beauty.
But once his eyes fall on me he will still treat me as the same girl with big eyes he first saw so many years before.
He'd ask if the heals were bothering me when we walk .. If the way i styled my scarf is choking me or making the summer feels more hellish to me.
You see, you look "pretty" or this outfit "suits you" .. These little compliments don't exist for him.
I've taken so much to accept that he'd call me pretty only when i'm so close to touch.. Only then he'll be close enough to look behind clothes and superficial distractions.
He'd call the real me "pretty".
But to the 17 years old me .. I cursed him and warned:
_" come meet me again this summer and i'll break up with you!"

  

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