Episode 12

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Hatred is similar to love.
Both so powerful .. And so consuming.
But the only thing that would bring these far edges together is "regret".
You regret in love.. You regret in hatred.

When I confessed to Rayan in the impulse of the moment I regretted it.
But when I gave it much thinking later and came to accept what I did my heart felt so much at ease!

It turned out that I regretted hiding my feelings much more than I regretted bringing them out to the daylight.

And so my heart that dwelt between love and hatred for so long suddenly felt at peace when I had no regrets left.

When I ran home that day Rayan didn't ran to catch me.
Of course this is so much of me to ask for .. Because unless we were in a movie, he wouldn't run to catch me.

But to me this was the last chance I gave him. And he chose to abandon it.
So with a heart that is more at ease .. I decided I'll no longer persuade him.

In the first week of summer vacations I called Salim once.
In the second week I called him once. And for the rest of summer I called him twice or three times a week.

One morning when I called, I told him that all my family went to a visit to my Uncle's and that I was alone in the house.

I wanted to test his noble character .. I wanted to see if he would ask for "perverted" things and this would absolutely put an end to our relationship for me.

But what he did was: he hung up the phone right away .. After half an hour he called again and ordered:

_" put your scarf and open your window"

Excited I soon obeyed his orders.

Once I opened my window with the prayer's scarf above my head I found him standing across the street observing all the windows of our house.

I had no idea that he even knew my address! 

His eyes finally stopped wondering and settled on me .. He was wearing a white T-shirt and colorful shorts.
His hair was messy and he looked like if he ran towards our house from his bed.

In the middle of his mess his smile went wider. He lifted his phone and called me.
When I picked up he said:

_" now that I saw you.. I shall die in peace"

He hang up the phone and left the street.
Putting my heart at ease.. Filling it with happiness.

And that time in the middle of July when I went out shopping with my sister I caught him with a bunch of boys in the street . once his eyes fell on me he started following us like a bodyguard.

When we entered any shop he would wait outside. When we went inside a mall he would wait at the corridor.
It was so obvious that he followed us that my sister said arrogantly:

_" what is it with boys! .. When they see a beautiful girl they can't help but follow her like dogs!"

I laughed for a long time before revealing to her total shock:

_" the boy you're calling a dog is my boyfriend, and the only thing he's following is this girl's tail. I guess I too have the power to make boys flip and roll"

This was the only time I felt superior to my sister in terms of appreciation. and it was all thanks to him.

For the first time in years I was excited to go back to school to meet someone.

All I wanted was to look inside those sky colored eyes of his and hear all the words he said to me in the phone live.
I didn't expect that summer was hiding more things for us.
I remember that early night at the end of August when a big fight took place at the end of the street where we lived.

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