Episode 36

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Hidaya came back home with me.
Of course it was quite a task to persuade her family and it was embarrassing to hear their scalding and blames.
But in the end they didn't want to complicate things even more than they already were.. And hidaya came with me.
When my brother was driving us back home.. He kept looking at hidaya sitting in the back seat in the mirror.
But the moment she raises her eyes to look at his reflexion in that mirror too he would drop his eyes to the street in front of him right away and drive like if his life was depending on it.
That "once him" "once her" thing went all the drive long.
Since i had nothing to be embarrassed about .. I found it amusing to observe their timid love.
When we arrived home my mother opened the door for us .. But didn't even greet hidaya.
But you see, hidaya was always the bigger person.. Because that afternoon she cooked a beautiful cake. She took it to my mother and apologized for what she has done.
What i learned from hidaya is that it doesn't matter who wins a fight and who loses it, but it's all about the manners of both parties.
Well, my mother had the manners of a pig.
That spring .. We were so busy preparing for my sister's wedding.
My mother spoiled her to the extremes during that time.. So much that one day she came to me after i finished training and ordered:
_"go wash your sister's hair for her!"
I looked at her in disbelief and shouted:
_" not because i'm doing all the house chores instead of your princess you think i'm her maid!.. If you ask me again to wash her hair i'll shave it and leave her with a bald head!"
My sister kept sleeping all day long .. Just putting a pound after another turning into an elephant.
That's another thing here .. The bride should "preferably" be chubby.
She died her already blond hair even more blond making it almost look white.
My mother looked at her beauty with admiration.
Me on the other hand .. The only remark i wanted to give her was:
_" congratulations! You successfully look 36 years old"
My mother insisted that i invite all my friends.
The only true friend i could invite was yassmine and she apologized on the phone that she couldn't come since the wedding date would coincide with her exams.
I said that i understand. Although what i really wanted to say was: " it's not a coincidence.. My sister chose that day very purposefully because all students will have exams around that date and thus there will be no child in the wedding to disturb her Majesty." 
The wedding was held in late May, my mother made sure to buy me a thousand dresses and insisted that i change into a new outfit every two hours saying:
_" if you didn't get at least one marriage proposal after this wedding then spit on my face!"
The wedding was even bigger that my brother's . i was enslaved for a week .. And when my sister was finally being taken by her in-laws i didn't even find tears to shed out of my exhaustion.
I remember when we went with Mimi to her in-laws with her wearing her wedding dress. The first expression on her mother-in-law's face was:
_"is this really the girl i took for my son?"
And that was only reasonable.
Back in 2012 .. Brides used to wear this really heavy makeup with purple shades .. An "arrow" like eyebrows and the lipstick was painted way out of the real lip line that their mouthes looked attached to there noses and chins without an interval of skin.
My sister looked coming out of a horror movie.
But she thought she looked pretty and that what counts anyways.
Her in-laws received us with pride and grandeur .. My sister smiled like she owned the whole world.
Don't get me wrong .. I really love my sister. But it's just that i often feel sad because we didn't implant more values in her before we sent her to live with strangers.
Because life isn't about looking pretty and having money, there's so much more about living.
When we came back to our empty house.. Only then my mother realised that her daughter was really married.
I remember she looked at me that second evening and asked:
_" will Mimi be a good wife?"
That was the first time my mother looked beyond Mimi's pretty face.
I looked at my mother .. And i couldn't lie to her.
So i answered:
_" i hope she learns how to be a one really quick"
But that didn't happen as smoothly as we hoped.
The very first month after her wedding my sister started calling us crying that she was insulted for not knowing how to do this and how to do that.
For talking disrespectfully..
For acting like a spoiled brat.
Her husband who "supposedly" loved her to the utmost kicked her out of the house within 4 months.
And the only reason for taking her back was because she was revealed to be pregnant with his child.
As for me, i was so busy with all what was going on in my family that i forgot all about me.
I finished my nursing training in 2013.. And then i started working at a hospital.
It was quite hard to master my courage at first and act properly in crucial moments, but with few months of struggling i could dug my way out.
I remember i was moved from my quiet internal ward into the emergency ward few months later, and there.. I met the next chapter of my life.
A male nurse called " Jamal Hadi"
He was 3 years my senior.. And had lot more experience than i had.
He was tall .. Had that a bit dark tan that made him look like coming from Saudi Arabia. He had dark round eyes and dark hair.
He isn't so much of a handsome .. Compared to Rayan he can't even have a 3 out of 10.
But he had good manners, or so i thought.
So, there i was.. The new hired Nurse who was still terrified of giving injections and suturing.
And there he came like a knight to my rescue.
The very first day we met he looked at me with a smile and suggested:
_" if you need any help.. You can ask me"
And you see, i'm someone without a face and he was actually the only one who suggested helping me.
So.. Whenever a case of severe burning came i would ran to him and ask for help.
Whenever i couldn't find the veins in some elder women i would call him to draw blood instead of me.
It's not that i'm lazy .. But sometimes when you face difficult situations and you know that someone else can easily solve them for you, you'll become dependant.
Since i showed him my shameless face on countless times, i decided to show him a bit of my soft side too.. And so i would occasionally invite him to a pizza or switch night shifts with him.
I always considered my self as a mere colleague to him until i found him one day talking to a girl my age at the examination hall's waiting area .. And she didn't seem like a patient.
I intended to walk unseen holding the blood draws when Jamal suddenly yelled:
_"Nadia! .. Come here for a bit"
I walked hesitantly towards them ..
That girl was short .. And had really sharp eyes.
She seized me from my head to my toes.
I thought that was a girlfriend's jealousy.
So i tried to be cautious not to be burned with her flames:
_" Sali.. This is Nadia, a dear colleague" Jamal introduced talking to that girl.
I found that "dear" thing uncomfortable.. But then i didn't comment.
Jamal looked at me with a smile next and bragged:
_" and this is my little cute cousin.. I think you two will fall like a butter on honey!"
I looked at that girl and wanted to comment:
" there's nothing little about that girl except for her height .. If you still think that she's little then you need glasses"
Well ok, that girl was a "full" woman.
I was so uncomfortable with that situation that i held the blood draws high and apologized:
_" i'm so glad to meet you Sali.. But i'm in a bit of hurry now, see you again!"
And then i ran away before even hearing the tone of her voice.
What happened next was that when i was taking some equipments from the storing room .. When i closed the closet i was startled to find Jamal standing beside it.
He was leaning on the closet as if he was a gangster coming from an old Chinese movie .. And then he said:
_" why do you look so surprised? did i scare you?"
_" what's with appearing out of the blue like this! .. What if you gave me a heart attack! What if i hit you with the detergent!"
He laughed carelessly and said:
_"you're funny"
I didn't see what was funny about getting scared, but then Jamal always acted shallow around me.
He crossed his forearms above his chest .. And then he asked:
_" how did you feel about meeting a member of my family?"
I gave his question a bit of thinking.. And then while i started walking out of the room i answered:
_" she looked like a fine girl"
She looked "savage"
He smiled weirdly and then asked:
_"how about being a part of my family too?"
I stopped walking .. And i looked at him confused.
He added:
_" how about being Mrs,Hadi ?"
How does a girl feel when she's proposed to?
I don't know.. I was never asked by the boy i really loved.
I somehow inderstood what he said to me the last time .. "All the others are substitutes" .. "Don't want to compromise"
Feeling nothing but a mere surprise i asked Jamal:
_"Are you talking for serious?"
He nodded.
And added:
_"i'll talk to my family once you give me a pleasant answer"
I sighed .. And then i mumbled:
_"can you give me some time to think?"
He nodded in understanding.
Held the equipments for me .. And then he walked to the room ahead of me.
Looking at his back i wondered.
"Would i spend the rest of my life with this man?"





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