Helpless (Book 1)

Chapter Twenty

I STAND IN front of my locker at school, twisting open the combination lock back and forth until I hear a soft click. The lock opens and my locker swings open. I sling my shoulder strap of my bookbag off and let my bookbag slump to the ground against it. I bend over, pulling out unneeded supplies that aren't required for English and stuff them inside my locker neatly. I hum to myself, a tune—a lullaby, to be exact, in French. It was a lullaby my mother used to sing to me as an infant. It still amazes me to this day that I can still remember the lyrics. I believe it's a Beatles song, but my mother sang it in French. It goes:

Now it's time to say good night 

 Good night, sleep tight 

 Now the sun turns out his light. 

 Good night, sleep tight 

 Dream sweet dreams for me 

 Dream sweet dreams for you.

I pause my task as my heart clenches at the memory of my mother cradling me in her arms, singing the lullaby softly to lull me to sleep. The memory is vivid in my head, clear as glass. Her voice, her soft, harmonic voice echoes through my mind. I can feel my hand start to tremble.

Close your eyes and I'll close mine 

 Good night, sleep tight 

 Now the moon begins to shine. 

 Good night, sleep tight 

 Dream sweet dreams for me, 

 Dream sweet dreams for you.

I feel the corners of my eyes brim with tears. I chew on my lower lip, hard, hoping it would keep itself from trembling. I blink my eyes rapidly, trying to blink the painful memory away. But it just won't. It won't go away. I see her in the nursey room back in St. Croix in the Caribbean, a small, kind smile on her beautiful face, her thin fingers stroking my freckled cheeks as she hums the lullaby to me. Her dark red hair, very much like mine, pulled in a low bun, letting a few locks of auburn hair dangle in front of her eyes. I bite my lower lip harder.

Close your eyes and I'll close mine 

 Good night, sleep tight 

 Now the sun turns out his light.

 Good night, sleep tight 

 Dream sweet dreams for me, 

 Dream sweet dreams for you.

I let out a shaky breath, closing my eyes for a moment, desperately wanting the memory to go away but it just won't. I open my eyes slowly turning toward my locker to find a photograph of my mother on the inside of the locker door. I stare at it blankly for a good while, my lips pressed tight, vision smearing together. I grit my teeth to keep myself from letting out a ragged sob. Her voice still echoes in my head.

Good night, good night, everybody

 Everybody everywhere. 

 Good night.