Helpless (Book 1)

Chapter Twenty-Five

HENRY LAURENS ARRIVES in New York on Friday, on the night of Laurens's game. It's been four days since the "incident" between Laurens and I and the misunderstanding. It's been four days since Laurens had verbally confessed to me his love for me. It's been four days since I've found out about his crush for me. It's been four days since I kissed John Laurens. Now, three days later, Henry Laurens arrives.

 I'm standing in the school's lockers with Laurens, leaning against a locker with my arms over my chest as I watch Laurens switch out of his clothes into his football gear. He looks terrified, ghostly terrified. His face is pale, his bright blue eyes are wide with nervousness and he constantly chews on either his lip or his nails as his eyes skirt around the room, bracing himself for Henry Laurens's appearance. 

Laurens plops himself on the wooden bench in the locker room, hunching over a little as he runs a hand through his honey blonde hair, puffing out a breath as his legs bounces up and down nervously and he clutches onto his metal helmet, hunched over slightly. I flash him a small smile and sit down next to him, wrapping my arm around his shoulder comfortingly and rub his shoulder up and down comfortingly. He presses his lips together tightly, glancing around the room at the other boys changing into their jerseys and helmets. I tuck back a loose strand of blonde hair behind his ears.

 "Shh, shh," I whisper. "Relax, John."

 Laurens shakes his head, pressing his lips tight and he licks them. "I can't. I can't. I can't relax, Alexander! It's...I can't do this..." 

 "Yes, you can!" I encourage. Or, well, try to, anyways. 

I squeeze his shoulder as Laurens shakes his head again, licking his lips as he continues to glance around the room. 

 "I can't! I can't do this, Alexander! I...It's my father!" Laurens gasps. 

 "Breathe, John," I say in a scolding tone. "You're starting to panic." 

 Laurens runs his hand through his silky, golden blonde hair and puffs out another breath, his cheeks puffing out as he exhales hotly.

 "He expects me to be with Martha and...and...you're not Martha!" Laurens cries with desperation. He whips his head over his shoulder, locking blue eyes with violet eyes. "I...God, Alex! How...How am I supposed to tell my father that I broke up with the girl he wants me to marry! He'll kill me!" 

 I close my eyes and sigh defeatedly out my mouth. There's no use in comforting him anymore. I tried doing that but he just won't listen. I lower my hand from his shoulder and interlace my fingers together, resting my forearms on my thighs and glance about the room. "It's just..." Laurens starts, trying to find the right words. 

"It's just...he's just...my Dad, you know? I...I don't know. I just...I just really want him to like you, Alex. And I just...I really want to be with you...and I want him to accept me for who I am and to accept you." 

 "Shh, I know," I say, combing back a few strands of hair out of his beautiful eyes. "I'll be fine. Okay?" 

 Laurens smiles fondly, whipping his head over his shoulder at me. But his small smile turns into a frown, a hesitant frown at that. He chews on the corner of his lip.

 "Are you sure you want to do this, Alex?" Laurens asks hesitantly. 

 I roll my eyes, folding my thin arms over my chest. I huff out a breath. "For the last time, Jack, yes! I do! I want to do this!" 

 Laurens nods. "Okay. I just... I feel like I'm forcing you to do this or something..."

 "You're not," I say. "I want to do this." I inch closer so my lips are brushing against his, our noses nudging against each other. I look up into his eyes, lustfully, a devilish grin on my face as I tug at his jersey collar. "I want you, John Laurens."