Reconstructing Amelia (unedited)

Chapter 73

December 16th, 2019

"I don't know if I can do this," I whispered to myself, standing in front of the mirror. I studied myself in the glass, seeing a different reflection than who I was used to. I looked so different now, nothing like the girl I was just two weeks ago. I felt as though my face had changed; as if knowing I came from a different family had somehow changed the way I looked. Like I wasn't who I was supposed to be.

I was wearing the same dress I'd worn at Ella's funeral. Cato had said to dress nice, and despite the entire new wardrobe I'd gotten, this was the nicest thing I had. Surprisingly, it still fit. The dress was simple, black, and long-sleeved, with a white-collar. But the longer I stared at the dress in the mirror, the longer I could see thirteen-year-old me standing there, mourning my sister. And the longer I saw myself like that, the more it felt like I was abandoning Ella. I knew it was silly - and that Ella would've been so happy about me finding my biological family - but I couldn't help but feel like I was breaking the family I'd had with her.

I turned my back to the mirror, pulling my hair back to reveal the ugly letters tattooed at the base of my neck. A horrible sickness lodged in my throat, nausea building up in my stomach.

First day of winter vacation and I already hated it.

A knock at the door made me jump in surprise. "You almost ready to go?" Alan's voice said through the door.

I dropped my hair back down, my eyes shifting to the clock on the wall. "Just a minute," I answered, hoping he couldn't hear the shakiness in my voice. My fingers curled around the locket that hung from my neck, the silver cool to the touch.

The door opened and Alan stepped in. "Hey, you alright?" His eyes softened as he scanned me over.

I nodded, looking away so he couldn't see through my lie.

"Mia," he said gently. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied. "Everything's fine," I forced myself to smile just to help prove it to him.

Alan gave me a stern look. "You're a horrible liar," he informed me. "I'm serious. What's wrong?"

I smoothed down my dress. "It's fine, Alan. Today's supposed to be a happy day, let's not ruin it," I told him, holding my head up. If I told them how nauseating the adoption was making me feel, they'd probably hate me.

"If something's wrong we'll fix it, I swear," Alan pleaded.

"Nothing's wrong," I repeated. I wouldn't let myself ruin this day. Not for my brothers, and definitely not for Javi.

I headed for the door, straightening my shoulders and making sure not to show any weakness.

"Miaaaaaa," Alan grumbled, begrudgingly following after me right on my heels. "Come one, talk to me. Please," He grabbed my arm. "Mia," His voice was sharper, but his green eyes were clouded with worry.

"I said I'm okay," I told him. "I swear,"

Alan didn't say anything else. He let go of my wrist, refraining from asking me again.

We were greeted by most of the family as we came downstairs. They all brightened as we entered.

"Sorella!" Javi cried excitedly, a wide smile on his face.

I bent down to help straighten out his shirt collar and fix his mess of curly brown hair.

"You look nice," Cayden commented shyly, his cheeks tinting a soft pink.

"Thank you," I replied. "You do too,"

"Aren't you going to be cold?" Cato was staring at my bare legs with a frown as I reached for my jacket.