Look to the stars. Let hope burn in your eyes. And we'll love. And we'll hope. And we'll die.
Well, I damn sure wasn't gonna be able to sleep now, and I already knew it. How could she so easily fall asleep after doing that to me? This was only the second time I'd ever been kissed, but I was pretty sure there was a rule that said you don't kiss someone and then go to sleep. That's just rude, isn't it?
But as I watched her sleep, it was the affirmation that I did love her, so who cares if it was rude? How could a killer look so serene and beautiful when sleeping? Not just sleeping either, when she was awake she was beautiful too.
I thought it was just me recognizing she was an attractive woman before when I'd think that, but after she just kissed me, I knew that wasn't it. It was a lot more than that. I needed her. She saved my life, and she deserved to be loved. It wasn't that I felt obligated to, it was just I realized I wanted to be that person that gave it to her.
Gorgeous, gorgeous Capricorn... I didn't even know her real name still. It didn't even matter. I'd called her Capricorn so much that it had stuck now. A name isn't a reason to not love someone, it's just a label. She could be named anything and she'd still be this person that I loved.
I love... someone. I had never thought I would. There were so many nights I'd be in my house, bodyguards preventing me from going anywhere, that I'd wondered if I ever would get the chance to. Dad was usually gone, or he'd get home so late I'd already be asleep, and be gone again by the time I woke up.
I hated him sometimes for never being there. For making me feel like I was being raised and nurtured by bodyguards and maids. For making me feel useless and incapable of doing anything by myself. For not trusting me. For treating me like an after thought.
I had a sparse few memories of my mother. They were so foggy sometimes I wondered if I had made them up. But the emotions I felt from remembering them... could you really make those up?
My dad had told me she left because she got into an argument with him. I found out years later that 'argument' was over him sleeping with other women all the time. I understood that she left him for that, but I never understood why she left me. I guess I never would.
Now there was no one. No one except Capricorn. She hadn't left me. She was the only one that had never left me.
Her 'job' regarding me had gone south. She could have left me. She had the opportunity. But she didn't.
She didn't.
That meant everything to me.
She meant everything to me.
I laid on my side watching her face as she slept. What did she dream about? Did she have nightmares of what she had done in the past, of the things she'd seen, or did she sleep peacefully? I wanted to know everything about her.
Funny how one kiss can do that to you.
I recalled the time that boy Riley had kissed me during truth or dare. It was about the same length, but I didn't remember staying awake thinking about it, it wasn't that special. The only way it was special is it was my first kiss, an obligatory landmark moment in my life. I wished I could erase that memory and replace it with this one. This was what a first kiss should be like, I already could tell. Simple, sweet, short, soft, and sensuous.
I didn't know what time it was now, but I was still acting as if she had just kissed me. I kept tracing my fingers over my lips and grinning. I wondered if it was even special to her. Had it just been one of many or was it unique in any way to her? I hoped it was unique. I hoped I was good enough for her. I just hoped I was... enough.
