Two Boys Healing (Book Two)

17. Explain

"You, sir," Ash said, standing with his hands planted on his hips as he stood in front of Will, who was seated on a log next to the moonlit lake, "have some explaining to do. Who the hell is that guy back at the cabin, and why are you out here avoiding him?" He tried to sound stern, but inside he really was very worried for Will. Was the new guy an ex of his? Why did Will ask him why he wasn't dead?

...Does Will still love me, with someone as beautiful as that boy here?

He shook off the last thought as Will lifted his gaze to meet Ash's. "...That's Riley. I used to know him. I thought I've told you this--" He stopped himself when Ash lifted his brows and tapped his temple, reminding him that his memory had gone splat. "Right," Will mumbled, looking down and wondering why it was so difficult to tell him this a second time when he'd already told him before. Maybe it was because Riley was actually here, actually real and alive, and Will had no idea how to feel about it. "Riley was--he's an ex."

Ash's expression turned grim. I knew it, he thought, worry and insecurities twisting and writhing in his stomach. "...and...?" he prompted, hesitantly sitting down next to Will and biting his lip. 

Will put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. "I thought he was dead. He got hit by my d--by a car." He exhaled, not sure why he left out the part that it was his father. "A few weeks after he hadn't woken up in the hospital, his mother called me and told me that the doctor's said that he most likely wouldn't make it. After that...I just didn't visit, didn't call, didn't do anything. I should have--i should have answered the phone calls after that, should have done something--" His voice grew choked up, and Ash inhaled.

"Will, he said softly, hating that he was hurting. "Will, and what if you had? What if you knew that Riley was still alive? Would you still have--" He stopped, not wanting to finish that sentence. Would you still love me? 

Will looked over, and Ash hated that he couldn't find an answer in his unreadable stormy gray eyes. "...of course I'd still want to be with you," he said, reading Ash's mind with a hoarse voice. "Of course. There's no one like you, Ash. I think--a piece of my heart will always be with Riley, and my entire body belonged to him in every sense of the word because he was the first guy I ever gave my heart to. But my heart doesn't beat for him the way it does for you, and I've never wanted to make anyone feel as happy as I want to make you feel."

Tears welled up in Ash's eyes, and he abruptly leaned in and hugged Will tightly, burying his face in Will's shirt, not saying anything and silently begging those words to be true. Will closed his eyes and nestled his face into the nest of brown hair on top of Ash's head, kissing him softly and holding him close. Stars twinkled overhead, reminding them that they should probably get back to their cabin before a counselor came by and scolded them for being out past curfew, but neither of them particularly cared. Ash was content to just let himself be held by Will, and as he sat there, a new memory resurfaced.

~ ~ ~

"Fear me! I'm the most ferocious monkey you'll ever meet."

The light filtered in through the grimy windows of the abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods that Ash was beginning to remember with more and more clarity, and he remembering swinging from his knees from the naked rafters in the ceiling.

Will, who was sitting in the corner and reading, set his book to the side with a soft, warm smile and stood, picking his way over and stopping in front of Ash, splaying his fingers on Ash's cheek. "Hey," he said, his voice deep and warm.

Ash flushed brilliantly. "Hey," he said, a slight squeak in his voice.

Will smiled, leaning closer and kissing the tip of Ash's nose. "Hey, your face is finally level with mine."

Ash giggled, and then Will leaned forward again and kissed him, even though Ash was still upside down. He tilted his head to get better access, and Ash squeaked in surprise, then returned the kiss with equal fervor, leaning in and hoping he didn't fall as his shirt dropped over the top of Will's head when Ash had to hold on to Will to keep from toppling.

Ash remembered that this was a different kind of kiss than some of their others; this one made his stomach twist and his core warm, a direct line to...other areas.

Ash pulled back with a gasp, his eyes wide, his hair ruffled, his cheeks flushed and his lips swollen. "What was that for?" he asked breathlessly.

Will shook his head, grinning. "I don't need a reason to kiss my boyfriend," he said playfully, reaching up and smoothing down Ash's shirt, which only fell back down again.

Ash flushed even more, grinning stupidly. "I love it when you say that."

"Say what?" Will said cheekily. "Boyfriend? That you're my boyfriend, and I'm your boyfriend, and I lo--" Will stopped short, blinking a little, and coughed.

Ash went still and stared at him, his eyes wide. Will didn't move either, his breath catching in his throat.

"I love you too," Ash whispered, his lips barely moving. "And you wanna know why?" He took a deep breath, and after a brief pause, he continued.

"I love you because of your smile, the smile that you don't smile for anyone else except for me. And I love your eyes, because they have so much feeling even when you don't want people to think you have any. And I love you for your voice, because it can change so quickly it's a smooth purr one moment and a rumbling storm the next. And I love your hair, because of the blue in it, and the black, and it looks like the sky when the light hits it just right, and I love your skin, because when I touch it it's like velvet-wrapped steel and I love how I get to touch your skin, because you somehow let me in when you didn't let anyone else in." Ash grinned slowly, his voice growing louder and more sure with each word. "And I love how even though you know what's going on at my house, you did everything you could to take me away from that, to save me from what I thought was going to be my life. I love you, William Kade, and I desperately hope you love me just as much."

Will didn't know what to say, so he just laughed and kissed Ash again, tears stinging the backs of his eyes. "I do," he murmured. "I definitely do."

~ ~ ~

Ash smiled softly to himself, basking in the afterglow of this perfect memory as he sat with his boyfriend on a log in front of a beautiful moonlit lake, all their worries forgotten, if only for the moment.

- - - - - -

Heh, I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter (mostly because i just copy and pasted from the other book lmao there wasnt much to write)

OMG ALSO YOU GUYS. I LOVE HEARING YALLS IDEAS FOR WHAT I SHOULD DO IN THIS BOOK. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, IF YALL HAVE ANY IDEAS THEN EITHER TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS OR DM ME AHHHHHH IT SERIOUSLY HELPS WITH MOTIVATION

Also if any of yall want to actually be featured in here then just tell me--ill obviously need name and pronouns but like descriptions and shit are up to you--I'm in desperate need of new characters lmao and actually im thinking about a love interest for Riley if any of you he/hims (ooh or maybe a they/them) are interested :))))

I'll say it again and again, thank you guys so so so so so much for sticking with me this far. I've decided to try to update every Friday if I can, and I have a bunch of prewritten chapters in case i accidentally lose motivation again (WHICH IM BEGGING GOD NOT TO LET HAPPEN).

You guys are the best and i appreciate all of you so much :))))

Q: Current mood/moods?

A: Hungry, horny, and hyper, as usual ;)