Two Boys Healing (Book Two)

3. Did we Love Each Other?

"Here you go. I'll pick you up in an hour."

Ash nodded wordlessly, staring at his house. The sky was gray with pregnant clouds, and the air smelled humid, like it would rain any second. Cindy drove off, but Ash knew she was only a phone call away.

Ash shivered and drew his coat tight around him. It was almost Christmas, and it definitely showed in the way the air seemed to be cooling almost by the minute.

He took several steps forward until he was standing right in front of the door. There were cracks and chips in the paint he didn't remember there being before, but that wasn't saying much, since apparently he'd lost his memory up until two years ago.

He gently pressed a hand against the chipped wood.

"Hey, Mom, Dad," he said softly. "I know you can't hear me. But I miss you both. Mom, they say you killed yourself, but I...I don't know. You wouldn't do that to me, would you? Did you leave a note? What...why would you..." A lump grew in his throat, blocking out his words, and he let his hand drop, shoving it in his pocket. "And...Dad? They're telling me you were arrested for child abuse. But...doesn't that mean you hit me? That you hurt me? You wouldn't do that either--you always were the kindest man I knew--" He shivered again, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm scared. Mommy, Daddy, I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I want to see Will, but I don't know him, but I do, and it's so hard to not feel like any second everything is just gonna come crashing down on me and I'm not sure if I can fix myself after that."

He finished his speech and stared at the door.

He wasn't sure why he expected an answer. It was just a door, after all.

Ash swallowed hard and dragged his hands through his hair, turning and sitting down hard on the front step, burying his head in his hands.

A car rushed past on the road, but Ash didn't look up. He wanted to block out everything, to just have a hug with someone he loved, to feel not so alone anymore.

"A-Ash?" a soft, familiar voice said from a few feet away.

Ash's head jolted up, and his eyes widened when he saw Will standing there, a beat-up red truck behind him. That was the car I heard, Ash realized. It was Will's?

Ash swallowed. "H-hey," he managed through a dry throat and a tongue that felt like sandpaper. "What are you...doing here?"

Will licked his lips, seeming to think very hard about his next words in case Ash decided to freak out again. "I was just...passing by," he said slowly, decisively. "Are you out of the hospital? Did someone offer to take you?"

Ash swallowed hard and looked away, shaking his head. "N-no," he stammered. "I just--Cindy...my nurse...let me come here. Because I'd been in the hospital too long."

Will nodded hesitantly, as if he understood but didn't quite know what to say.

Ash coughed. "I--I miss you," he blurted. "I wondered why you didn't...come back. To visit me."

Will's expression grew pained, and he looked away. "I tried," he mumbled. "The doctors didn't like me coming, though. So I stopped."

Ash bit his lip. "I know. Cindy told me." He looked down, tracing invisible lines on his jeans with his fingertips. "I...can I...ask you something?"

Will exhaled slowly and took tentative steps forward, sitting down slowly as if he was waiting for Ash to push him away. When he didn't Will let his tense shoulders relax slightly and crossed his legs in front of him. "Go ahead."

Ash chewed his lip. "What were we?" he asked quietly. "Before. Because--I want to know, and maybe fix things..."

Will was silent for a long time, not looking at Ash. "It...it was complicated," he confessed. "It...we were dating. But you'd just dumped me, because of your dad...and then I won you back...and..." Will puffed out a long breath.

Ash's eyes widened. "I'm...GAY?" he squeaked.

Will glanced at him. "Uhm. I hope so." As soon as the words left his mouth, he winced. "Ah, sorry. That's...forward."

Ash didn't say anything, reeling. "Wait. So. You were my boyfriend? And...wow." His mouth formed an O shape. "That's weird."

Will chuckled, almost humorlessly. "You're telling me."

Ash fell silent, and then said, almost silently, "Did we...love each other?"

Will didn't respond, staring straight ahead, and then took a deep breath and stood. "Um," he began slowly, "I think...we did. I do, at least." He shot Ash a quick look, gauging his reaction. "And...you said you did, at least." He flushed for some reason now, and Ash looked down, not sure what to say.

There were several moments of tense silence before Will blurted, "Do you want to have Christmas dinner at my place?"

Ash looked up, his lips parting in surprise. "I--um."

"It's okay if you don't," Will rushed out. "I just--yeah. I..." He dragged a hand through his hair, exhaling raggedly. "Sorry. If that was...too much."

"No," Ash said softly, his eyes welling up with tears for some reason. "No--I'd like that. A lot."

Will bit his lip, sucking in a hopeful breath. "Oh. Really? Um." He grinned, and Ash suddenly felt like the world tilted and spun and the only constant was Will--Will and his beautiful smile that somehow made all Ash's loneliness drain out of him. 

Ash grinned back at him, the first real smile he'd put on his face since he woke up in the hospital. "I'll see you then," Will said, slightly breathlessly, checking the time on his phone. "It's almost ten. I promised my mom I'd be back by then."

"Okay," Ash said, still grinning. "See you then, Will."

- - - - - - - - 

First of all--you're welcome.

I know none of you said it (except you, clatoforever5), but I know all of you wanted a Will/Ash meeting. Heh.

I'm pretty proud of the way this chapter turned out. I had the basic idea, but it just kinda flowed out as I was writing it.

Thank you guys SO much. You have no idea how much your support means to me.

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Q: Favorite Marvel ship?

A: For me it's totally Stucky. They're perfect for each other. <3