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17. The Mother's Favorite

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Chapter Notes

Please pick a font that shows italics! Arial is a safe bet. This chapter is also ~4,200 words, so grab a snack and something to drink!

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A few heartbeats later, the darkness receded.

You stumbled onto a rocky beach, swore, and then tripped on Devlon's cloak. You ate shit, the rocks clacking against one another as you slammed into them.

You blinked your tears away as you looked up and watched as . . . the last of the darkness disappeared.

You stared at the ocean as the reality of your situation sunk in.

"No," you breathed, struggling to stand. You turned around and around, trying to figure out just where the fuck you'd winnowed to — and then tripped on Devlon's stupid fucking cloak again. You just barely caught yourself. "No, no, no, no, no. Come back. I didn't mean to do that. Fuck."

You were on a warm beach, so you figured you were in southern Prythian.

Maybe this was the Summer Court?

You were still crying, but your sadness was quickly turning into panic.

Hadn't you heard a female? How had you even winnowed? And then the bigger question: could you do it again?

Tentatively, you called out, "Hello? Is anyone there?"

No response.

You inhaled shakily. "Hello?!" Your voice echoed off the rocky hills behind you. Your chest swelled with anger. "So much for wanting me! What the fuck am I even doing here?!"

You waited, listening to the waves and seagulls.

By the hills, tree branches brushed against one another.

But still — no response.

So you tried to winnow again.

You took a shuddering breath and then closed your eyes.

You didn't know what you'd done before, but you'd felt the overwhelming urge to get away from those who didn't want you. So you figured that if you did the exact opposite, then you could, at the very least, return to Velaris.

That made sense, right?

Right.

You tried to envision yourself returning to those who wanted you, but . . . came up short.

Your chest tightened as faces came to mind, but—

You didn't know if they actually wanted you — if anyone wanted you.

If you were wanted for any other reason than fulfilling your purpose here.

You drew in short, shallow breaths.

"Fuck," you choked out, eyes stinging with fresh tears.

Because that wasn't working, you thought of the Illyrian temple, the river house, the House of Wind — anywhere but here.

. . .

And . . .

Nothing.

You grabbed your face, groaning until it turned into a long, frustrated shout. "FUCK!"