What if we met again?

Chapter 10

"You are here! You're finally here! I can't believe I finally see you after so much time!" Nathan repeated aloud the lines his role supposed to say...
"All this time you've been waiting for me, haven't you lost hope?" Nathan heard a woman's voice behind him that didn't take him a millisecond to recognize. "Sta-Stana? How did you get in?" Nathan asked quite confusedly and stepped out of the role. Stana quickly gave him a gesture that the door was unlocked and that he return to his role to continue practicing. "I did give up, but my heart never did, if I had to wait countless more years, I would wait, just to see you again" Nathan continued to embody his role "Good, because neither my heart has ever lost faith that you will always be waiting for me" Stana continued as Emily Bryne.
"And I will always wait for you, if need even forever" Nathan and Stana both had some sort of blockage when they had to utter that simple six-letter word because every time they said it a flash of their 'always' moments from "Castle" would go through their heads.
And according to the script, now should have followed that moment when their eyes met wich will cause a kiss...They both knew what was coming, but Stana was the first to show it by taking a step forward toward Nathan. She was ready, she was ready to kiss the man who caused the collapse of whole system in her head only when she look at him, who made her feel alive again, who caused her to laugh for no particular reason, who caused that spark in her eyes to re-emerge, who made her heart beat like crazy... yes, she was ready to feel his lips on hers again...
The last time she could think normally she wondered was she really supposed to do this? But instead of reason, she was pushed by some pure urge and she knew she wanted to do it... She moved her head closer to Nathan's and just let herself feel Nathan's lips on hers, but instead of the warm, soft lips she wanted to kiss, she felt only cold air because it was Nathan who stepped back and turned his head away before their lips could collide...

Stana's POV

Did he just...? Yes, he did...He stepped back and turned his head away...He just refused my kiss, I know we rehearsed the scripts and it was for the scripts, but it still completely broke me... "I thought we'd eat something before?" His voice didn't twitch a bit as he spoke, as if nothing had happened, as if all this was nothing. "Ya...we can....we can do that" My voice unlike his was completely shaky, and what else when the man I thought wanted to kiss me more than anything had just refused my kiss, hell I know it was just for the scripts, but it was still a kiss and he refused! "We can order Chinese" His words hit me like slaps, how calm he was, as if nothing had happened! To hell with him, now he's talking about food to order, and I can barely stand, trying to accept what just happened, fighting to keep tears from coming to my eyes, and he doesn't have the slightest reaction to it! But why do I have such an insatiable need to cry? He didn't kiss me, he didn't, I have to accept it and move on, it's not like that kiss would have mean something to me right?? But I can't, I just can't, some inexplicable feeling presses on my chest when I think of that moment and I can't help myself...

Nathan took the food they ordered, paid for the delivery, came to the couch and offered Stana food, as if they were two mates whos going to have movie night together, not like he had just refused her kiss a few minutes ago. Nathan had been distanced all evening, he had seldom given Stana a faint smile, and she herself could see that there was no gleam in his eyes, there was no longing she usually saw in his eyes when he looked at her. She didn't know the reason for his behavior and it was literally killing her, she wanted to, needed and simply had to see that Nathan again who is crazy about her and who can't control himself when he's next to her. Where the hell is that Nathan?? Those thoughts tormented her as Nathan next to her simply enjoyed his portion of Chinese.
"Um...shall we continue...rehearsing the script...you know?" Stana asked very uncertainly when they had finished eating. "Ya, we can" He answered briefly, simply, and such his answers came to Stana like a pile of weights straight at her. He got up and came to the middle of the living room, Stana was standing right in front of him and each of them had different thoughts on their heads:
"For God's sake, now I'm going to kiss him like never before in my life and show him how I really feel about him, I'm going to give all of me in that kiss..." It was spinning in Stana's head as Nathan, just as his gaze was, thought very casually: "just plain kiss." These were their last thoughts before their lips crashed against each other. Stana simply enjoyed the feeling and wished it lasted an eternity, lightly licking his lower lip asking permission to enter, so she could taste inside his mouth what she wanted so badly, but to another her surprise he didn't approve, but simply parted his lips with hers...When they separated, she was taken away by some strange feeling that she herself couldn't explain, but first it took her a while to sort out her breathing and concentrate her eyes on one point. Nathan, unlike her, had no problems with uncoordinated breathing, moreover, he did not show the slightest sign that he enjoyed the kiss.
"We'll be great" He said in a calm voice, and both he and Stana knew they won't be, because he didn't give in to this kiss at all, Stana had a feeling he had kissed her just because he had to and those thoughts slowly but surely devoured her. Why is he doing this? Why is he like that? Nathan's behavior simply drove Stana crazy, but it drove her crazy in sense that now he was behaving so repulsively and distanced from her, and she just wanted that old Nathan back more than anything and then in the weakness of all those thoughts she decided: "If he won't himself, then she'll make him crazy about her again!" She just needs that Nathan again who is losing both breath and wit because of her...
And before he could handle it, Stana grabbed Nathan by the collar of his shirt and pushed him back onto the couch so he was sitting now and she put her legs between his. "Stana..what are you doing? This is not written in the script" He was all confused, looking at her with pure innocently. "I know, but let's warm things up a little" She whispered and her fingers rummaged through Nathan's hair. "Stana...I...don't think..." Nathan tried to get the word out, but Stana interrupted him again, this time whispering in his ear "Come on, Nathan, relax. " She whispered with a warm breath tickling down his neck in hope that will send goosebumps down Nathan's spin, but it didn't work either because Nathan was still not giving in to her attempts but trying to say something again. "Isn't it a little warm here?" Stana continued and suddenly began unbuttoning the buttons that closed Nathan's button-up shirt. "No it's not! Stana, what's happening to you?" Nathan somehow managed to push her off him and get up from the couch. When he buttoned his shirt again, he sat down on the couch, Stana now sitting next to him was very distraught by his reaction... "Look, I don't want you to regret afterwards because something you did" Nathan started, and Stana immediately interrupted him: "I won't regret it, trust me" "Stana, you will, you will regret it, this is just your moment of weakness, for God's sake you have a husband" Nathan continued to reassure her, but she already had a ready answer "That doesn't mean we can't have a little fun" She continued on her way, now biting her lower lip. "Stana, I don't want to be someone who will ruin your marriage" Nathan tried to find the right words to explain to her that this is the wrong decision. "No, you won't be, you'll just give me what he never could" Stana, unlike him, was trying to find words to prove to him that this is the right decision. "Stana, if you think I'm going to be your side hookup, I won't, and I don't want to, because I'm not one of those men who only cares about a woman's body, I want to have someone I can show all the love I have for that person every day, someone with whom I will dive into life, someone who will be by my side, someone I can rely on and with whom I can live the most beautiful moments of my life..." Nathan opened up completely to Stana and this time Stana had nothing to say." You already have that, Stana, you have someone you can share your life with, who you love" Nathan said softly, adding, "I'm not that man, and you know it yourself, so go to the door of the man you love." After what he said, Nathan got up and opened the door for Stana, as if to show her what to do, and she really took her things and walked out that same door...

Chapter 10 here!
To be continued in chapter 11!!!
Chapter 11 soon💙!