What if we met again?

Chapter 23

It was already late afternoon when Nathan walked into a small coffee shop and glanced around to see Jeff sitting at one of the vacant tables, waiting for him. His otherwise striking gait was now nothing more than light, small, unsteady steps, his chest always adorned with its width was now compressed and small, as if it lacked the liveliness that usually circled Nathan's whole body. Several faces immediately lit up when they noticed that it was Nathan who entered the cafe, he did not even bother to cover up his presence, so he could have expected such reactions. His hand made a quick 'I'm not in the mood for autographs' move. What, he's a celebrity so everyone thinks his life is a fairytale?? Ya, right...not exactly..."Today is not Fan day, huh?" Jeff cracked up a joke to try to lift Nathan's more than obviously hump mood. Taking photos, giving autographs, being on panel and talking or just answering a thousand questions...every time Nathan had a chance to do any of these fan activities, he would do it with a smile, but not today... "I'm not in the mood for the jokes either" He just let himself fall on the chair opposite his brother's as his overly plaintive voice muttered from his lips. "What is it?" Jeff slowly asked the first question and began a conversation. "I fucked up, Jeff!" Nathan's voice continued, and it was already possible to tell by his tone how angry he was with himself. "You fucked up what?" Jeff's completely calm voice alternated with Nathan's tense and tight. "The only thing I shouldn't have...I screwed everything up completely!" Nathan's voice falling out of tact more and more as he spoke. "Okay, you screwed up and now what?" Jeff tried to calm him down. "She won't even look me in the eyes anymore, Jeff!!" Nathan's higher and much more disconcerted voice overpowered Jeff's again. "So it's about 'she' thing, hm?" Nathan got one significant glance from his brother. "Ya...but not anymore, I lost her, it's over..." In the quietest possible voice, he uttered words that was tearing his heart apart. "Since when does my brother give up on something so easily?" "Ever since I was the biggest idiot possible and ruined everything, Jeff!" Nathan's voice completely slipped out of his control. "And now I'm sure, it's her, because she's the only one who can put you in this state." Jeff pippped in. "Who her? Who are you talking about?" Nathan's voice dropped a little to Jeff's sudden conclusion. "Nathan, don't play dumb on me, we both know well who I am talking about" Jeff looked at him with 'I-can-read-you-like-an-open-book' look "N-no...I really don't..." Nathan tryed. "She still owns your heart, doesn't she?" But Jeff went on, too. "Who?" Nathan questioned. "She always did and always will" Jeff went over Nathan's question and continued with what he was increasingly convinced was true. "Only she can make my little bro believe in love again" Jeff spoke with fully confident 'I know I'm right' voice. "I've always believed in love, I just..." Nathan's voice trailed off in the middle of what he was saying. "If by believing in love you mean waiting all those years for her to show up at your doorway, then yes" Damn it! He may could fooled the others, but Nathan himself knew well he never couldn't hide anything from Jeff. "You don't have to say anything, because right now your eyes are speaking for you, Nate" Jeff's voice pulled Nathan out of his agitated thoughts. Does his eyes really scream just 'her' all the time? Is it really that easy to figure him out? Does he really show with every movement that she has completely taken him over?? "My little bro is in love head over heels" Jeff's 'sing-sang' voice confirmed that 'yes, completely' was the answer to all the questions going through Nathan's head. "Five letters, initial letter of her name S" Jeff started out as if they were two school boys playing some guessing game because he knew he wouldn't get the answers from Nathan otherwise... Nathan giving him a thousand bewildered looks, but Jeff simply returning 'Drop the act, Nate' look. "One word and I can make you smile" "You wish..." Nathan murmured gloomily at Jeff's little game. "You bet?" Jeff gave him a chance to give up, because he knew very well that in just a few seconds a smile will shine on Nathan's face and just because of a single word he will say. "Bring it on!" Nathan took on a serious expression, preparing for all sorts of jokes that Jeff might use to make him smile. If he's going to throw in some maple syrup or ice cracking jokes again, this time he's ready! "Stana" Jeff's voice spoke and damn it all Nathan wasn't prepared to hear that! He tried, he really did, but a millisecond after hearing her name, a tiny smile was already playing on Nathan's lips and his cheeks turned light pink-ish. But that smile faded the moment he remembered that same woman whose name now brought a smile to his face today had nothing but disappointment in her eyes as she looked at him after he had screwed up everything he could...Yes, yes she's the only one who can make him smile even when he's mirthless but how the hell does his brother know that? How the hell he knows that his heart never stopped beating for Stana? How does he know it's about her? Did he saw them anywhere? Did they got caught somewhere together and now everybody knows?? Nathan stirred pretty nervously at all this thoughts. "I don't have to be an astrophysicist to get it, Nate" In a joking tone Jeff gave an answer to all of Nathan's unspoken questions. "You may not have been aware, but she was everything you talked about ever since you first saw her, I can even bet that half of those looks you were giving each other weren't even written in the script at all, don't let me start with relationships, when was the last serious relationship you were in?? Let me answer for you, you were in none ever since the series ended because you've been waiting for her with all your heart, Nate stop lying to yourself, now be honest and admit once and for all that-" "Yes! Yes, Jeff, a thousand times yes, but who cares now?! I disappointed her and ended us! Who gives a fuck about my feelings when I can't be a man enough for her!" Nathan's already little high voice turning even highter, irritated and angry, his fists clenching at the very thought of what he had done this morning. "Come on, it certainly can't be that bad" Jeff tryed. "She asked me today 'where are we going?' and you know what I replied? 'To the north, Captain!'" But Nathan proved to him it can be even worse... To the north, Captain! he cursed himself a milion time because of that damn 'captain' joke with whom he fucked up everything! "And what did she tell you on that?" Jeff asked pretty cautiously taking care not to escalate the situation any further as he himself saw how irate Nathan was at himself because of his previous actions. "Nothing, her disappointment spoke for her..." Nathan's eyes grievously stiffened as he recalled the way she was looking at him with only disappointment written over her gaze. "She...I...Jeff...I don't...I..." Nathan's words fading and he eyed Jeff with sort of little boy 'I'm lost and I don't know what to do' look. "Look, now I can tell you a buch of lovely-dovely things, like for example listen to your heart it will tell you the truth or the first thing you feel when you look at her, that's something special what you need to cherish and so on but I won't because you already know that yourself..." Jeff now took the helm of the conversation, and Nathan listened in complete silence...
"I'll tell you just one thing, like a brother to brother..." Nathan was now fully concentrated on hearing Jeff's precious advice which he needed so much. "Man up, Nate and if she's really the one then don't waste a second more, go after her!" Don't waste a second more, go after her! stucked to Nathan's ears. His legs obeyed the order they were given and the next moment he upend to his feet and was now standing straight. His gait was bold again and his torso was now proudly inflated. It didn't take Jeff long to catch his brother's glare, in which assurance and determination were now clearly present. He mouthed something that sounded like thank you before he hurried out of coffee shop. Now it's up to him to fix what he screwed up and so he will...

Big bro always knows....

Will he make it right or did he really screwed everything up this time and ended them??

Next chapter will give you half of answer...