ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔢, ℭ𝔬𝔠𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔢, 𝔞𝔫𝔡... 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔖𝔨𝔲𝔩𝔩𝔰?

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔫𝔢; 𝔭𝔞𝔤𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔲𝔯

So.... Im sorry for what will happen in this chapter

!tw: angst, panic attack!
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"Phil.." my voice echoed against the walls of the alleyway, tears welling in my eyes as I stared at him.
he's alive.. he's actually alive, this strange man wasn't lying.

"Y/N... Techno, let them go." Phil's voice practically boomed as the man, who's prior words I just processed, let me go. placing his sword back into its sheath, hand still resting on the golden hilt. Phil approached the two of us, Techno now coming to stand next to me. the tears in my eyes blurred my vision as I watched the man grow near. as if on queue, a tear fell down my cheek as he stopped in front of me. wrapping his arms, and wings, around my smaller frame. holding me close against his chest in a comforting hug.
I began sobbing into his kimono, tears seeping into the green fabric. I felt his shaky breath fan across the top of my head as he pressed his face into it, I could tell he thought this was a dream. that it was too good to be true, and I felt it, too. the feeling in my chest squeezing my heart, and the small voice whispering in my ear telling me that this was fake and that I was dead. that the other man had murdered me in cold blood.

"Phil.. where did you go? why did you leave us.." my voice cracked as I spoke, finally voicing the thoughts I've had for these past years. I felt his body shake, something wet falling into my hair.

"I'm sorry, Y/N.. I'm so sorry.." his voice was shaking as he spoke, nearly breaking multiple times. I could tell that it was tearing him apart, eating at his brain, his heart even, as the years went by.

"Sorry..? Phil, a sorry won't make up for the years you've missed. The birthdays you've missed. The days, weeks even Ranboo wouldn't leave his room. the only sounds seeping through the door being his sobs, his cries, pleads for it to all be a nightmare. and all you can say is 'sorry'?" I pushed him away, my voice cracking as more tears slipped past my eyes and fell down my cheeks. I could almost feel Phil's heart breaking as I spoke

"Solar didn't speak, smile, or even look at me for almost a year after we where told you died. We all thought you had been killed in the Nether. Solar and Ranboo still can't even mention your name without almost crying. Im the only one who can speak of you without nearly crying, and its even hard for me." My voice was growing a lot louder than I normally would've liked, anger bubbling inside me. Ignoring the tearing feeling in my chest as I shouted at the man that raised me from a young age. the man that was practically a father to me.

"Phil... a sorry, won't make up for the years I spent crying myself to sleep. singing that damned lullaby you used to sing to us just so I could get at least an hour of rest. the image of this very fucking hat being handed to me after hearing about you haunting me to my core." As I spoke, I took the hat off my head and practically threw it at the male. I turned my gaze to the floor, seeing the pain and anger in my eyes as I gazed at myself in a puddle made by a leaky pipe.

"Y/N.." Phil's soft voice invaded my ears, the items I had bought or traded for still in my very shaky arms. I had forgotten about then and nearly dropped then.

"Save it, Philza. If you want to apologize, you can do it to all of us. If you even remember the way back home." A scowl evident on my face as I spoke, i took the hat back and placed it on my head, pushing past him and practically running out of the alleyway. Phil's voice called out to me, begging me to come back, but I just kept walking. getting practically lost in the crowd as I followed my instincts and knowledge of the town to make my way back to the forest.