ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔢, ℭ𝔬𝔠𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔢, 𝔞𝔫𝔡... 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔖𝔨𝔲𝔩𝔩𝔰?

𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔢 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰; 𝔧𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔶 𝔬𝔫𝔢

day one (or zero? not sure),

I've been sentenced to death today. Solar and I got caught, Phil is back, I met a man who says he's a pirate, Ranboo will be all alone, its just not looking up for us. I'm currently locked in a stone cell, the only possible escape is a barred-window at the very top of the wall opposite of the door. its just small enough that I could get through, if I was naked and covered in oil. its far too high for me to reach, even if I had oil to squeeze through..

I'm not worried about my death. I'm worried about Solar and Ranboo, I'm even worried about Eret! Eret tried to stand up for me and justify my acts, whenever someone found out about me and Solar, he'd "take care" of it for us. whatever he did, it always worked. never once did we see them or hear from them after he "took care" of them. kinda worries me.. Eret's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but the one time I say him with a blade...

lets just say I was terrified, and I wasn't even at the other end of it.

but, back to the matter at hand.
I'm not scared of death, never really have been. I've always been interested about what's on the other side. some say you go to heaven, some say you go to hell, some call it Valhalla, some say you get reincarnated until you've lived every life there is, human and animal, and then you become god.
but, personally, I think you become a spirit. You're body becomes a star, a shining light in the sky billions light years away from our home, glowing like a never-ending flame.
your spirit lingers around the world, around your city, around your home. sticking to places and people you loved when you lived. until, eventually, the last person you loved dies and becomes a star. then, you're spirit returns to the place you loved the most. whether it be your home or a forest, maybe a lake or a person, who'd now be in a grave, your spirit returns, and you rest. the star your body became glows brighter than ever, outshining even the north star.
and then, after years of rest, you're reincarnated as an animal you loved.

if what I believe is true, I'll probably become a rabbit or a fox. or maybe a cat, cat's have always loved me for some reason.
I used to think Phil had been reincarnated already and was living in a cats body, so every time I saw a cat I'd stop and tall to it. people thought it was sad, but it gave me closure as a child.

I'm worried about Solar and Ranboo. Solar is going to be thrown in a jail cell in the kingdom, when the first snow hits, he'll most likely get a cold and slowly die. as for Ranboo, who knows? he probably won't be able to go back home, Sven will want to capture him as soon as possible and convince everyone that he was an accomplice to Solar and I. he'll either end up like me or Solar if he doesn't flee.
as for Phil? I honestly regret what I said when I saw him. I don't hate him, I never have. I was just... mad.. I have a proper reason too, as well. if I get out of this alive, I'm gonna demand he tells us why he left and where he was.

the sun is setting now and my hand hurts, I should stop writing and head off to bed. goodnight, you stupid book.

goodnight to whoever finds this, I hope your life is much much easier than mine.

   - y/n c/n of Zonlicht, the village that is no more.

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I managed to get this done tonight and make a snack between chapters, good times 👍