Stumbling Into the Spotlight - Tom Hiddleston FanFic

24 - Tom

It'd been over a week since I'd seen or heard from Eliza. That wasn't to say that I didn't know where she'd gone, the papers had cleared that up the day after she'd left. She was in Los Angeles doing a book tour, but she was still avoiding my calls and not reading my texts.

I'd stayed in New York, not wanting to leave in case she came back though I knew that was just an excuse since I couldn't just go to Los Angeles and find her. I knew she wasn't going to be coming back for a while, the dates for her book signings alone stretched for another two weeks but the thought of leaving hurt worse than staying. The only good thing that'd happened since Eliza left was there hadn't been another sighting of Zawe.

I kept up appearances, looking happy when I had to go out but it was getting harder each day. The papers hadn't got wind that we'd broken up fully but the fact we were literally on different sides of the country after being inseparable hadn't gone unnoticed. Nor had the fact she was spending a lot of time with Henry Cavill lately.

I didn't care if she'd moved on, I'd given her more than enough of a reason, I just wished she'd let me say I was sorry. I needed to apologize even if it changed nothing. I knew she was still talking to our friends but they refused to help me.

I was officially at a loss as to what I should do. She wouldn't talk to me and just showing up there wouldn't be a good idea. Or at least that was what I kept telling myself but I could've just been being a coward. I wasn't sure I could handle seeing how much she hated me now if how distant she'd been that last night was any indication.

Sitting in her shop as I usually did these days just to feel close to her even though it hurt I was finishing up the second book in her current series as Katy sits down on the couch beside me. Startled I look up at her and she chuckles, handing me a cup of coffee.

"How long are you going to stay here?" She asks, giving me a pitying look.

"I don't know. As long as it takes I suppose." I answer honestly, not caring how pathetic it sounded.

She shakes her head and looks around. My presence in the shop had become normal by this time so no one really paid me much attention, which I was thankful for. Looking at me again she fidgets with her hands.

"You really love her."

It was a statement not a question but I node anyway.

"I do."

"Then let me give you some advice. I know you want to talk to her but you hurt her and when she's hurt she closes herself off, especially to whomever it was that hurt her. She hasn't gone to see her parents in Florida for going on four years now because her mother made a snide comment about some book her friend's son had written was way better than anything she'd ever thought about writing. None of her family has ever read anything she's written."

"I know I did and I feel horrible. I spoke without thinking and didn't bother to listen to her trying to show me the truth."

"I can see that, which is why I'm going to tell you this but if you tell her it was my idea I will deny it. I know you want to say the words to her but you need to write her a letter and tell her everything that way. She's more likely to believe what you have to say that way. She loves letters, she's completely old fashioned like that."

A memory of Eliza saying something very similar pops into my head and I smile. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that already.

"Thank you Katy."

"No problem, but hurt her again and famous or not I'll kick your ass. I don't know how much she told you about her past but I can guarantee you it wasn't easy for her to let you in, let alone into her bed."

Had I been taking a drink of the coffee she'd brought me she'd have ended up wearing it but I still ended up having a coughing fit. When I finally manage to breathe normally I look at her to see her smirking.

"How do you know we've slept together?"

"Tom, Eliza and I have been friends since Kindergarten. Don't worry she didn't tell me anything but it was hard to miss the glow she had. It was the first time I'd seen her like that since... well it's just not a look she wears easily."

Hearing Katy say that I realize she had seemed different after our first night together, though I wouldn't have called it glowing; she always seemed to glow with an inner flame I'd never seen before. That last night however even that had dimmed and I knew that was completely my fault.

"I did not mean to hurt her. I'd give anything to be able to take it back."

"I know but it's not completely your fault either. You both have pasts and what happened with Millie sparked both of you. She's my best friend, basically a sister really, and I love her but she over reacted too. You were an idiot though."

"Thanks." I mumble unhappily but in full agreement with her.

"But," She chuckles, "She didn't have to run away without a word. I think you two could've easily got past it and come out stronger for it."

Remembering how she'd pulled away at the party made me even more upset. I'd yelled at her and she just stood there and took it. Looking back now I could see the wall go back up the longer I'd yelled though I'd been too sure I was right at the time to notice then.

"Has she... moved on? Is it too late to fix this and get her back?" I ask quietly, afraid of the answer I might get.

"What?" Katy asks, a crease forming between her eyes.

"Cavill. She's been spending a lot of time with him."

Of all the responses I'd thought I might get her laughing wasn't one of them. It wasn't a chuckle either, she guffawed causing the few people in the shop to look over.

"She's not dating him as far as I know but I won't lie, I think he's interested. Write her the letter Tom, tell her how you feel. The longer she stays behind her walls the less likely you will be able to get them back down again."

She pats my knee, smiling sympathically and leaves me to my thoughts. How does one put all of what I'm feeling into words? My own mind was full of disjointed thoughts and regrets I had no idea where to start. I'd give it a shot though. Eliza deserved the effort.

"Hey Katy, I'm going to go upstairs for a bit." I call and she nodes.

I was barrowing Eliza's copies of her books so I needed to return it if nothing else. But I kind of needed some quiet away from prying eyes as well, try to get my thoughts in order.