Regrets ; a.i

Ashton

July 23rd, 2016

I sighed dramatically as Reagan was in my room going through all of my stuff. "Re, I don't want to go." I told her with a pretty serious tone.

She groaned, spun on her heel, and looked me dead in the eyes. She did not look one ounce impressed with me. "Jen, I am going and so are you. I am not taking no for an answer. I am 7 fucking months pregnant, so don't test me and my need to want to go out and see my baby's daddy's concert with my best friend, and have a good time." Her tone was serious and she managed to hold a straight face the whole time.

I laughed at her. "Re, you know I would never go against going out and having fun with you. But, I don't know if I can go to this concert."

She looked at me with a priceless expression of how over my shit she was. "Is it because of Ashton?" She signed and I knew she was done with my whole Ashton baggage, probably because it was all her fault really.

I looked at her and said nothing.

"He's waiting for an answer you know," she started to speak again. "It's been like a year but he's still waiting for you. He must've been massively in love with you." She threw it around carelessly like it was no big deal or it didn't mean anything the way it did.

I frowned at her words. "He never loved me," I said softly.

At that, Reagan completely froze before she slowly turned to face me. Her face held an expression I've barely seen lie on her face. She looked like someone just stabbed her in the chest, and her lips were open but no words came off them but silence.

"He never told you?" She frowned.

I tilted my head slightly. "Told me what?"

Reagan now looked shattered as her jaw fell closer to the ground. "Oh my god," she breathed, "he never told you." This time she sounded more stunned and in disbelief than she did confused.

"Told me what?" I repeated myself.

"That he loved you," she replied slowly and said it like it was obvious.

I shook my head. "No, not really. I mean, he did that this one party where he was wasted, but he took it back the next day." I told her and I felt my heart racing through my body, because I wasn't sure what to feel or what to think. I thought I knew the answer but for some reason this made me second guess them.

Reagan nodded slowly before turning around. "I think, you should wear this," she changed the subject completely and handed me a pair of black jeans.

I took them but looked into her blue eyes. "How do you know?" I asked, wanting to know.

He eyes flickered away and she turned around to continue to look through my clothes. "He told me," she said softly. "The night you told him you loved him he went to the bar. I also went, but I didn't know he'd be there. I sat there with him and I talked to him. He spilled to me how he loved you so much, how he's loved you for a while, he liked you from like the first week after he met you. He spilled everything about his feelings for you to me, and explained how he panicked when you said it to him. How he wanted to hear it but he never thought he would so when you said it, he panicked and froze because he realized how he was in love with someone who was also in love with him." She looked over her shoulder at me.

I took a few feet back and sat down on my bed, soaking in all the new information. Then I frowned and looked to Reagan.

"Wait, so he told you all this and then you decided to pursue him to sleep with you and ruin everything?" I asked in disbelief.

She sighed, her whole body sort of dropping with the sigh. "I was jealous, and angry, I couldn't even get him to kiss me and he was in love with you after two months. I didn't understand it, and because I was also drunk and the worse person in the world I did it." She turned to look at me and I had my head in my hands and I shook my head. "I regret it everyday, and if I could go back and change it, I would."