Haikyuu oneshots and scenarios

YANDERE TSUKISHIMA KEI HEADCANONS

Fanart ain't mine peeps, and hope you enjoy this trash TvT

Imma be honest with you here, this god damn salty salt shaker and MF bean pole with glasses here will bully you since he's taken an 'interest' in you, which will end disastrous for you and I suggest you get yo' runnin' shoes. This dino obsessed bean pole here will trip you, spill water on you, tease you etc. etc just to get your attention 

But secretly, he HATES and DESPISES how cute and adorable you are. And not to mention your cool badass attitude, like damn......he hasn't seen anyone like you and you BET your allowance that this tsundere here is simping over you right now. He'll sneakily take pictures of you, stalk you discreetly and what he hates the most is how you flash that stupid cute smile of yours to other undeserving pieces of garbage instead of him while you just give him one of your fiercest glares and scowls. Anyone who dares to make fun of him about having a crush on you will seriously regret it and yes, unfortunately that even applies to Yamaguchi as well 

He's the ONLY one who can make fun of you and bully you, if anyone else does that they'll be put in the hospital with more than 150 broken bones or he'll frame them for something they didn't do or believe it or not, he'll even go as far as to murdering and killing them for making your feel sad or cry 

The way I see it, if you 2 had to be friends, it would be either because of a group project or he'll ask Yams to befriend you so you 3 can hang out together. If you meet any other boy other than him he'll give them their fiercest glare and send the poor schmuck running in terror across the other direction. He's already making a great exception for Yams since he's his friend but even he won't forgive him if you develop a crush on him. Tsukishima wants you all for himself, and no it doesn't matter if you already have a crush or a boyfriend/girlfriend. After he finds out that you actually DO have a lover, he'll first be pissed as hell. How DARE you fall in love with someone other than him? Can't you see that he clearly loves you?! So, he's going to spread nasty rumors about them and most probably tell them to stay TF away from you. If they don't listen to him, BOOM! They'll be missing by the next day 

You must be knowing by now that he LOVES dominating you and he finds it really cute, amusing and adorable when you try standing up for yourself. Honestly, you remind him of a little snarling kitty cat that he finds really cute. This man here practically LIVES for humiliating you and yes, he's a sadist 

Basically speaking, he's a sadist, possessive, obsessive and he'll go to ANY lemme repeat, ANY lengths for getting you in his clutches and his hands

You can call it 'being mean to you'. He calls it 'Showing you his love'. *Sigh* Some people are such Tsunderes..... Like me ;)

Now, Tsukishima will kidnap you only if you do something to piss him off or if someone confesses their feelings for you in which case, you and that person will be in for it. That person will be dead and as for you, you'll be chained to a nice and comfy bed post 

He won't be THAT merciless to you, he'll actually hold you when you cry and rub your back comfortingly and try calming you down if you're upset. He won't starve you and forget to give you meals and water even though he calls you like, a dozen nicknames 

He'll start calling you darling and sweetheart after a while or he'll call you princess/ prince if he thinks you're being sassy and acting up 

He'll actually allow you to go out with him provided if you behave yourself or else you can kiss your little outings goodbye. He'll not take you to his games since there'll be other boys there and he doesn't want those dimwits looking at HIS darling so, you'll have to cling onto him like sticky mozzerella cheese stuck on pizza and assure everything's all right and you love him while he just smiles smugly inhaling your scent that's meant ONLY for him and no one else. Egoistical prick with a superiority god complex  

He will SURELY break you and your attitude and tame you or make you go soft in like, 2 months. He'll let the 1st month of your kidnapping you since he knows you'll take time adjusting but if you STILL keep acting up and behaving like a brat, he's going to have to teach his bratty little princess/ prince a lesson since you're clearly NOT being grateful for the things he's doing for you 

Will make you succumb to him and fall in love with him no matter what 

You'll have some soft moments with him quite often that'll leave him in a flustered and blushing mess that'll make his face look like a tomato. He likes laying down with you and cuddling with you, and likes it when you run your hands through his hair. Oh, and he'll also smile if you 'boop' his nose and then turn away all shy and embarrassed 

The only way for you to calm him down is to keep inflating that ego of his and keep telling him that he's your hero and how much you love him and he'll literally be putty in your hands. Don't EVER try manipulating him, he'll see right through you and he'll make you regret it. He is a very smart and self aware yandere who knows how to behave in every situation including cooking up a story about your disappearance 

If he catches you trying to escape or acting up even more so than usual, he'll lock you in a room that's it. Oh, and he'll also make you wish he was hugging you and you'll crave for his attention and love after your punishment is done after a few words of yelling. When he sees you on the verge of tears, he'll feel guilty but he has to do what he has to do if you were going to be disciplined. And if he snaps, it'll be a nightmare for you and I suggest you run ASAP since this man will be worse than Satan. After he's done punishing you and sees your hurt, scared and broken look in your eyes and especially fear for him, he'll feel hella guilty and he'll make it up to you with sweet gestures and your favorite food. He might even actually apologize and now THAT'S a shocker 

Yams is actually HELPING him in this crazy scheme and no that's not so shocking since well...... they're best friends and all that 

He would very much love to have a family with you and he dreams of you kissing him when he leaves for work and then coming back home to the smell of your wonderful mouth watering and delicious cooking 

He just shows his love in a different way and just keep boosting his ego and you're good to go