living's just a waste of death

it's all in your mind

don't be a ghost reader

mikey was acting like nothing had even happened. and it was kinda fucking driving pete crazy. did mikey not like him back? is that what was going on here? it sure did seem like he did but sometimes pete was bad at reading people. and mikey was particularly hard to read.

it wasn't awkward or different at all like it should've been. but pete did notice that mikey hadn't been leaning into pete's side when they were watching tv as much as he was a few weeks before. then again, they'd both been sleeping in mikey's room even though pete said he was fine with the couch. so he really had no idea what was going on in mikey's head.

because other then that he was acting fine. he was completely fine so pete didn't push for answers. he didn't ask what mikey thought about that kiss. about pete. he was dying to know, yeah. but he felt like he should give mikey some time, maybe? as if he was the mixed up one in this situation instead of pete. but to mikey there wasn't even a "situation" and that's what pissed pete off.

because pete liked him, he really fucking liked him one hell of a lot. and in the back of his head he knew that he was just mikey's friend. he wanted to stop pretending like giving mikey some time would just magically make some mutual feelings appear out of thin air. the world didn't work like that. especially mikey way. but pete couldn't let it go. he wanted mikey to look at him the same way.

it was a hard thing to figure out- this whole liking someone thing. liking an actual real person. pete wasn't used to that. for him it was all fun and sex- not because he was in love. or something like that. and he wasn't sure exactly what he wanted, either. pete had never dated anyone...or been in a relationship. not really. yeah, he'd slept with a couple girls and kissed a few boys- but he never cared. at least not enough.

but with mikey he actually thought about that stuff. the sex, of course, but he also really wanted to hold mikey's hand and call him stupid pet names. stuff that he'd never done with anyone else before because he just wasn't interested. but mikey was interesting.

so yeah, maybe pete loved him a little bit. but it was too soon to tell, and he didn't know what it was supposed to feel like either. even if he did, the lines between a best friend kind of love and a wanna kiss you kind of love would be really blurred. love got pete confused. and mikey was confusing.

he was either staying far away from pete or sitting too close, beaming up at him. it went back and forth from everything to nothing. it sucked.

pete had been at mikey's house for four days then. and it was so weird just to be in each other's space for twenty-four hours a day. they went to bed at the same time (although pete always fell asleep hours after mikey) and woke up at the same time. they ate breakfast too late. they played with pete's dog until they got bored and pete dragged mikey somewhere out of the house. and they ate whatever mikey's dad brought home for dinner.

pete didn't know there was a basement prior to then- "you have a basement?" he'd said when mikey opened a door pete assumed was a closet at first. "yeah. there's a tv down there. s'where we keep all the video games." mikey started leading the way down the creaky stairs. "video games? do you have grand theft auto?" pete was kinda scared of how dark it was down there, though. "we always play grand theft auto." mikey said and walked over to switch on the lamp and pete saw the television, dvd's, and a couch across from it. "but yeah, i do." -but they spent a lot of time down there after that.

pete figured he could probably live there. in mikey's house. even though it was so weird it was also pretty awesome. it didn't take long for mikey's dad to start treating him like just another teenager in his house. and hemmy had already learned the layout of the place. and pete said hi to gerard every time mikey called him.

it was fun to just hang with mikey every minute even if it was accompanied by confusing feelings and still not being sure what mikey thought of him.

pete hadn't seen any of his other friends in weeks, with how glued he was to mikey at that point. they probably all thought he was dead. he had some missed calls from patrick and andy, a voicemail from brendon, some texts from joe and some others.

the only one he had gotten around to answering was gabe because he was going batshit crazy over some guy he thought he had a chance with but now "he's fuckin sum supr tall guy i've never heard of b4! wtf?!" but pete ignored him and everyone else after that.

frank had come over on the third day of pete living at the way residence, utterly confused by his presence but not too bothered by it once he realized pete hadn't broken in. mikey didn't really feel the need to explain and frank didn't really care. so the three of them hung out in the living room until frank's mom called him home.

pete didn't know much about mikey's friends, though. and mikey didn't know much about his. the two of them were from different parts and different cliques. it probably should've caused a black hole that they were even friends. because everyone knew pete and he was loud and everyone loved him. but mikey was known as nothing more then gerard way's kid brother. and gerard was only known as sweet art kid, still far from popularity.

not that popularity meant anything to mikey, or even pete. it was just something that stated how many people you knew and how many people knew you. and then it was used to put you in a category that didn't always define you. so according to highschool, pete was at the top of the food chain and mikey was at the very bottom.

and maybe sometimes mikey did feel like pete shouldn't be hanging out with him just because mikey was prey. but he did. and he was sticking around and they got close too quickly and mikey was attached and pete loved him even if the lines were blurred.

they were in the basement. they had been for a couple hours already. talking about nothing and everything. "i like it a lot here. i fucking hate my house." pete was lying on his back on the floor. "it's a big house," mikey replied, on the couch with an xbox controller in his hand but nothing was on the tv. "for only two people, i mean" he added then.

"yeah, that's what i said, too. i like my dad's house in chicago better."

"you don't talk about your dad very often," mikey said and then kinda regretted it because he didn't actually know anything at all about pete's parent's. "yeah...we're on good terms i just don't see him a lot." mikey nodded and let pete continue to ramble on about whatever and just listened.

he tried not to notice the way pete had been looking at him or the nauseating feeling he gave himself when he woke up too close to pete in the morning. he wasn't sure if pete noticed or not, he hoped not because he didn't want him to think they were something more. and he'd thought about kissing pete again but he hated that he did.

"we should walk hemmy," he said, looking at mikey, grinning. and the puppy hopped up at the mention of his name and the word walk. "yeah, yeah okay."