living's just a waste of death

the talk and the car

mini update at the end!

i watched a psych2go video to prepare for this. i hope you all suffer.

"mikey, come sit, i'd like to talk with you." was a sentence that rarely ever resulted in anything positive. especially when it came from mikey's dad- the last time he heard that, he got grounded from his phone for a whole month during the summer.
so when mikey heard his dad say that sentence from his seat at the kitchen table, he was understandably confused.

pete had just left- like, literally walked out the door a few seconds before. he said he'd be back later, which was honestly the only reason mikey let him leave. "what's wrong?" he said, and walked over to the other chair but kept standing. mikey couldn't remember the last time he broke a house rule. at least, not on his own.

"nothing, but I need to speak with you." the not on his own part actually wasn't all that good. but still, the worst mikey had done recently was sneak out or come home late, which wasn't even a problem if he wasn't alone. he hadn't even tried a sip of alcohol in well over a month. him and pete both. though, that was only because pete's mom started hiding her beers and there was never any in his own house. "speak with me?"

so was it pete? mikey never saw him as a bad influence or anything. but he had been coming over to his house everyday and that definitely could've been suspicious. so was it pete, but more so, mikey's thing with pete? their mutual affection? wait no, that sounded way too formal- their relationship? or...whatever.

"yes, sit." his dad said, and so mikey sat down on the very edge of his seat. quite literally. "your brother was very uncomfortable when him and i had this conversation, but i think he was a bit younger. you're not as overdramatic." shit- so this was worse then what mikey thought? "this isn't the sex talk right? 'cause i've had that and i don't think i need it again." mikey could hear the reluctance in his own voice.

his dad laughed, "no, not exactly. think of it as a follow-up." oh. okay. but there was no way he actually knew about mikey's thing- relationship with pete, right? mikey hadn't told anyone. only gerard. and that didn't count. and gee wouldn't have said anything. right? "you and pete- i know about your...relationship. if that is the right thing to call it."

holy shit. did gerard snitch? what- how- if mikey was standing in front of a mirror he probably could've seen his own face go pale. paler. "holy shit. i'm sorry, i-" his dad cut him off, which was probably a good thing because he didn't really know what he was about to say. "oh, no need to apologize. i do wish you had told me yourself, but that's not what this is about." that only made mikey more anxious. "what is it about?"

"honestly, i've been suspicious of you two for a while now, and i admit i should have realized sooner. peter's here all the time, and the way he looks at you is hard to overlook. but that aside, a relationship is a serious thing." the way he looks at me? mikey thought, how does he look at me? "i don't really know where you're going with this." mikey said.

"alright, i'll be straightforward with you. first of all, dating isn't just a fun game. you're dealing with someone else's feelings along side your own. I raised you to be- well, I raised you not to be an asshole. I trust that you'll be kind." mikey nodded. had he been being kind? not an asshole? off the bat he would've answered yes. but him and pete were always rough with each other. lots of sarcasm and play fighting. though, it never meant anything. hell- it was almost a way of showing affection. "shut up." always sounded more like "kiss me."

"second, and don't get squeamish because this is more dreadful for me then it is for you- sex isn't a game either. you have to think about if you're ready physically, and even if you are, you might not be emotionally. it can change your relationship in so many ways. if the connection isn't serious and you decide to have sex, what happens if someone falls in love and the other doesn't? and you also have to think about if you really want it, or if you're being pressured." mikey wanted to carve his ears out of his skull so he didn't have to hear the rest.

"of course, protection is important. obviously you can't get pregnant- thank god, however-" holy fucking shit, mikey wanted to end his stupid fucking life. "dad, you really, really don't have to-" his dad laughed again, and cut him off again, "yes, i know, i know. i don't mean irritate you. it's just important that you understand what i'm telling you. you're bright, michael. but you're also young, and being young is often accompanied with being stupid. i want to make sure you know how to make smart decisions."

mikey nodded. sometimes he forgot how lucky he actually was. sure, his house wasn't nice, school was hell, and his family didn't have enough money despite how much his dad worked. but at least he had a parent that loved him. a father who didn't care that he was a boy with a boyfriend. who raised him to not be an asshole- yet, sometimes he kind of was.

"listen, i know i'm not home as often as i should be, and i hate being one of those dads. but just because i'm not always here doesn't mean you can go wild- and by saying that, i'm not forbidding you from anything. you see, i was a teenager once. i understand when you're father says you can't do something, it makes you want to do it more. i'm just asking you to be cautious. smart."

"okay. i will be. i- thanks. really, thank you. you're a pretty cool parent for having a kid that's an asshole sometimes." it's true, mikey's dad was like, supportive and caring and shit. he pulled mikey into one of those weird side hugs and said, "say, i have a present for you. i was going to wait to give it to you, but now seems like a good time." and mikey smiled a confused smile. "what is it?"

mikey's dad lead him outside, after telling him to close his eyes. and despite everything, mikey felt almost scared. "hold out your hands." so mikey did and then something was placed down in his palm- it was flat but with a jagged edge and cold like metal, a key? probably.

mikey opened his eyes to find that, yeah, okay, it was a fucking key. cool. and he was standing right in front of the open garage. all that was in there was some boxes, his old bike, a bookshelf, and his dad's old cadillac that he'd been working on for ages. "it's yours." his dad said, but mikey still didn't get it.

"this whole time i've been fixing it up, was for you. i finally got it up and running- i was planning on telling you after i got the seat covers, but it doesn't need them. you can drive it whenever you want now, it's in your name." mikey looked directly at the car. bright blue and perfect looking- practically brand new, with a stripe on the side. a nineteen-sixty-two beauty as his dad would call it. "it- you're giving it to me? your car?"

"that was the plan from the beginning, son. just don't wreck it, or i will disown you." woah. "i won't, i swear. this is awesome." mikey sat in the front seat of the car- his car. he had a fucking car. "i'm glad you think so. it was your grandfather's car, you know. your mom's dad? i think he would've really liked to pass it down to you." a family fucking heirloom. mikey felt like royalty in that.

"it's been repaired to last, and there shouldn't be any problems with it. though, if their is, just let me know." mikey just nodded but he was kind of distracted by the old radio. his own car. a cadillac! he wanted to drive to the diner and to school- how awesome would it be to drive down to pete's house in a cadillac? it would blend in with the neighborhood! oh shit, mikey was gonna love this. "thank you so much, this is so fucking cool."

okay so, hello hi. greetings to all. yes, i'm alive. yes, this chapter is late. yes, i based mikey's dad on my own dad. HoWeVeR i am ~editing~ the previous chapters! not all of them, only the first few because my writing style has improved (changed?) since i started this book (fic?) and i feel like the first five-ish chapters don't really fit sooooo yeah :) chapters 1-3 are finished so i'm almost done! you won't have to go back and reread them unless you want to, which would honestly be nice. afkfjsj, that's all!

—your goth boyfriend, jj (because i'm experimenting with he/they pronouns !)