☆ ChiLi/TartaLi Oneshots ☆

-Caught in 4k📷-

~Crack, short, implied smut 🐸
This may or may not contain the most minimum amount of spoilers for some story quests, tho it isn't very likely.

This story is related to the oneshot that came before this one, so if you haven't read it then please do.

Modern AU (Zhongli works in a restaurant in this one)💃

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It was nice and early in the morning, Zhongli had just arrived at his work where he found Hu Tao cleaning the floor.

"You're five minutes late!"

"Sorry- I woke up a little later than I was planning..."

"It's okay- You can make up for being late by...finishing off with the cleaning."

"Right... I'll get right to it." He said, grabbing the broom and starting to pass it around the floor.

Hu Tao sat on one of the tables, staring at Zhongli as he did his work, making sure he did correctly; although, there isn't much to brooming the floor...

She noticed Zhongli had a scarf on, which was strange considering how hot it always got during spring and summer. She knew something was up when she saw it, and she was curious...

What if Zhongli was secretly a robot? Or maybe even an archon...Nah- A robot is more likely.

She snuck up behind the brunette while he was distracted by his sweeping, then she grabbed the end of the scarf and pulled it down, taking Zhongli down with it since it was tied around his neck...

"HU TAO, YOU ALMOST CHOKED ME-"

"WHOOPS!- Hehe sorry..." She reached out her hand to help him out, despite him being much heavier than she expected.

"Peepaw...What's that on your neck?..-" She mentioned the red marks on his neck, the ones he was hoping would go unnoticed, the ones Childe made...

"MOSQUITO BITE."

"Mosquito bites my ass- Those are hickeys bro." She gave him a blank stare while he crossed his arms and blushed slightly, acting all flustered.

"I assure you they're mosquito bites..."

"Oh yeah? Well th--" The little bells near the entrance started making noise, meaning a customer had just come in.

"Hi welcome to- Oh...Wait a second.."

"CHILDE- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Zhongli had unexpectedly yelled, knowing that if Childe said anything dumb or stupid, Hu Tao would know immediately...

"Heh- Sorry to bother you at work, sensei...But, you left your lunch bag at home so I decide to come pay you a visit and bring it to you!" He smiled innocently, although innocent is the opposite of what he is...

"MOSQUITO! YOU." Hu Tao also yelled suddenly, startling both males in front of her...

"What?-" They both said simultaneously, although Zhongli had a much more worried tone in his voice...

"You're the mosquito."

"W-what?! Hu Tao don't be silly- Dumb little piece of--"

"The mosquito who left those bites on peepaw's neck!" She pointed at Childe.

"Oh- You noticed? Yes-- Wait...Did you say 'peepaw'?-"

"That's my nickname for him shhh..."

"Yes, and I always tell her to stop but she doesn't."

"Never."

They all blankly stared at each other for a while, before Hu Tao suddenly remembered what she was talking about earlier...

"HEY! What did you do to peepaw, you Ed Sheeran looking ass biatch!"

"I'm sorry what-"

"ANSWER THE QUESTION, WHALE BOY."

Childe looked at Zhongli who was covering his mouth and had his eyes closed in worry of what Tartaglia might say...

"Well- I didn't do anything..."

"LIES! I CAN SMELL THE LIES FROM HERE. ANSWER ME NOW OR DIE FATUI BITCH"

"Geez Zhongli- You raised a feral kid."

"She's not my kid-"

"Ahem, listen ghosty girl, I didn't do anything to your grandpa."

"Childe istg--"

"Your grandpa probably got into some poison ivy and got those marks."

"Those are clearly bite marks you gay dumbasses."

"...Okay- You see, I'm secretly a vampire and--"

"Nope, we're done here. Hu Tao, I'm taking the rest of the day off. BYE!"

"What the fuck-"
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Word count: 665