Freed

24

Two nights before my parents death anniversary, I found myself unable to sleep.

It was an hour to midnight, and I'd been tossing and turning ever since I'd gotten to bed. I spent most of the time staring up at the darkness of my bedroom, occasionally listening to cars drive by outside. The silence in my head was too overwhelming, and I was afraid to go to bed because I knew I'd have dreams of them.

Two weeks had passed since the dinner. Julian came over multiple nights a week, but we didn't do anything except talk or spend time together because I didn't feel ready. Until I got better, mentally and physically, I wasn't ready to do anything.

Elise had gone with me to meet with the lawyer for emancipation. The experience had been nerve-wracking, but she'd pulled a few strings even though I hadn't done anything she'd asked, and made the process extremely simple for me.

The options for emancipation were limited without having a court order, but the state we lived in allowed emancipation simply by having parental or guardian consent. There were a few steps that would come after that, but it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would have been. Mostly because we were bending the rules to get what I wanted done.

I had to get Elijah to sign some documents and I couldn't build up the courage to do so. It meant that I'd have to tell him what I was doing, and the thought was sending my stomach into knots. I was putting that off for as long as possible.

Overall, everything had been ordinary. I had my low days and my high days. Mariam visited all the time and she stayed with me to get the simplest things done. She'd been right; talking about what I had to do to get better was easy, but actually doing it was difficult. Things weren't getting better, but they weren't getting worse either. It just seemed like my days were a horizontal line. Boring, monotonous and dull. I was becoming used to it.

Tomorrow, I also had to go to the pediatrician with Elijah because it had been the only available appointment and he'd refused to let me get out of it or go alone. What Mariam had said about my heart possibly weakening as time went on had left a huge impact on him, and he'd turned insanely protective afterwards. It was borderline psychotic at this point.

I wasn't let out of anyone's sight. I couldn't stay home alone. I couldn't skip meals. Sometimes, Elijah was so insane about it, I thought he'd force feed me if I didn't eat myself. Kaiden and Ethan were cautious, too, but they weren't as bad as Elijah.

It seemed like Caleb and I were being treated like we were glass these days.

I didn't complain about it though. I understood why since I'd thought about it from Elijah and Kaiden's perspective. Caleb and I were the youngest, so it was scaring him; not knowing what was going in our minds after everything that had happened.

I didn't know how much time passed as I stayed in my bed, but soon enough, midnight hit and my stomach began to tangle up as the day I dreaded the most out of the year loomed ahead.

I swallowed hard, still staring up at the ceiling. I wanted to talk to Ethan or be with him because I knew these three days were going to be the hardest on him, but he wasn't home. He'd left hours ago, claiming he had a party to attend, and I didn't doubt that. I knew he was probably getting blacked out or worse right now. All so he didn't have to remember what I currently was.

When I couldn't take it any longer, I dragged myself out of bed. Throwing my thinnest blanket around my shoulders, I trekked towards the door and slowly opened it.

Caleb's door was shut so I figured he was asleep. Kaiden's was too, but I knew that he also wasn't home, so I headed straight for the stairs.