Freed

37

I pressed the cold water bottle to my face as I sat on the edge of the tub in the bathroom, taking deep breaths. Strands of my wet hair stuck to the sides of my face and a sheen of sweat coated my entire body. I was trembling from head to toe as I tried to use the water to cool myself off, mentally reminding myself that it was a nightmare and Collin was dead.

It wasn't the first time it had happened, but the dreams seemed to be getting worse each time. I'd wake up gulping for air, feeling like there were invisible hands pushing down on my chest until they shattered through my ribcage and wrapped around my heart. I would wake up with a scream lodged in my throat, but it never vocalized.

During the days, I was okay. I pretended to be alright for so long, I had fooled my mind into believing it. I smiled and laughed and spent time with my family because the trial was three days away now, and I wanted to spend every second like it was the last.

But nights were a different story.

The nightmares were becoming more extreme; intensifying to the point where sometimes I'd scratch myself in my sleep and bleed because I was tricked into believing that the scenarios my mind produced were happening. They were memories mutating into monsters. Except these monsters had been real. Collin showed up in the nightmares. Sebastian made an appearance occasionally. Amina showed up. Lucas, Harrison, Will showed up. Every person who'd contributed to hurting me in the worst ways possible haunted me at night.

Sometimes, as much as it destroyed me to realize, my family made an appearance. The one with Ethan and Caleb had made me sick for hours. I didn't know why my mind was torturing me like this, and I didn't know what to do to make it stop.

Tonight, I'd been back at that party I'd gone to, cornered upstairs. Except this time, Collin hadn't been alone. Sebastian had been there with him and he'd been laughing in the background.

I'd managed to wake myself up only because bile had risen to the back of my throat and I'd ended up sprinting to the bathroom, making it right before I threw up. So, that's where I was now; feeling like I was on the verge of passing out.

I got up from the edge of the tub and shuffled over to the sink, my entire body shivering so violently that it caused my teeth to chatter. My skin felt feverish and it was drained of all color as I stared at myself in the mirror. I turned the tap on and washed my face, keeping my eyes closed for a few moments before I straightened. After drying myself with a towel, I turned off the lights and treaded out of the bathroom, my heart rate slowing to a normal pace again.

Mia was fast asleep on my bed, the laptop we'd been using to watch movies still open on the edge of the mattress. I quietly tiptoed over to close it and placed it on my nightstand. Running my hands through my disarrayed hair, I decided I'd head downstairs because sleep was entirely out of the question now, and I didn't want to waste my time trying.

I passed Ethan's room where I knew he was sleeping, and despite my exhausted mental and physical state, a small smile formed on my face when I thought about earlier and how pissed he'd been when he'd snuck up behind us after his run. He'd seen Mia and I looking up ways to scare someone who had the fear he did.

We hadn't done anything yet, but I also sort of regretted ever saying yes to Mia because Ethan had warned us that he'd get back at us for even thinking of doing such a vile thing to him. Mia was fine because she and Olivia said they'd be leaving to go back to their place tomorrow, but I would be in danger all day for who knew how long.

Ethan's history of pranks had ended with me hurt multiple times when I was little. He never meant to, but he went to extremes when he wanted to get back at someone, so I knew I was going to have to watch my back.