Freed

38

I pulled the sleeves of my thin white jacket further down my wrists, letting the material cover my fingertips. My skates dug into the ice below me and I could vaguely hear Sophia giving me instructions behind me, but her voice was drowned out by the voices in my head. Mia was already on the ice, smoothly gliding in circles as she drifted across the entire rink.

"What if I fall?" I asked hesitantly, glancing over my shoulder at Sophia. She had her hands tucked into the pockets of her black coat as she watched me, her blue-grey eyes glinting from the lights reflecting throughout the arena. Her black hair hung in loose curls around her face and I noticed that she was shivering from the temperature inside.

"You might," she replied evenly. "Just remember to fall backwards, not forward if you can help it." She noticed the wariness written all over my features and spoke again, her eyes softening. "You can do this, Izzy. You just need practice."

I recalled the steps in my head to do the moves I'd come here for, making sure I knew them from start to finish. I was fine with skating since I'd started coming more often, I just needed more practice with certain jumps and spins that I hadn't done in ages. Today, I was going to attempt to try some of the basics so I could get better as time went on.

"Okay," I breathed. Pushing myself away from the ledge, I started gliding across the ice, my gaze downcast as I studied the lines Mia's steel-blades had carved into the glittering white surface. Cold air nipped at my skin, and I knew my cheeks were probably red.

My heart hammered against my ribcage as I slowly skated towards one end of the rink, so I could gain enough momentum and force to start gliding as fast as I could. I reached the right end of the arena and halted, before I slowly spun around to face the direction I was going to go.

A memory came to mind from some of my first ice skating lessons. I'd been around five years old and my mom had come with me. My first teacher was someone I'd never forget, and she'd always said that the for some people, ice skating was the closest thing they'd have to flying.

I could almost hear her voice and see my mom sitting on the bleachers, watching me during all my classes. With that memory engraved into my mind and my teacher's words, I began.

I slid away from the wall, my skates cutting through the frigid silence of the rink as I started gliding. The sharp silver blades dug deep lines into the hard, glimmering surface as I propelled myself forward. My dark strands whipped my face as I spun and spun and spun until everything around me turned blurry, and skating came as natural to me as breathing. I felt like I was falling, but flying at the same time. I felt like nothing could get to me as I drifted as fast as possible across the ice, the world fading away in the background.

My pulse pounded inside my throat, and my mouth began to turn dry from how hard I was pushing myself, but I kept going because I knew my body could do it even if my mind believed I couldn't.

At some point, when I'd touched almost every point of the rink with my skates, something strange began to happen. I skidded to a slow stop, my heart slamming inside my chest as my gaze drifted towards the sliding glass doors. Sophia sat nearby, on the bleachers, as she watched me. Mia had gone off to get a drink, but all of that drifted away as an unwanted memory came to mind.

A flash of ash blond hair, dark, glimmering eyes, a full smile – remnants of a person I thought I'd stopped missing began to lash out at my mind as I stopped in the middle of the rink. My throat began to lock up as his face came to mind and I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to scream and hear my voice echo off the walls as I started to remember how Sebastian would sometimes come and watch me.