Everything I'm supposed to hate • Harry J. Potter •

16

You hadn't realized you'd drifted into unconsciousness until you awoke in the Hospital Wing a day later with your shoulder bandaged and almost healed.

Madame Pomfrey told you that you'd had a dislocated shoulder, a concussion, a bruised rib, and a dozen or so scratches and cuts. She had you stay only one more day after that to make sure the soreness in your shoulder and the effects of the concussion had worn off.

When you asked about Harry, Madame Pomfrey looked surprised, but she answered your nagging questions anyhow. She said he'd had a broken rib like you suspected, a bruised knee, a small fracture in his ankle, and just about as many cuts and bruises as you.

You were sure Harry had gotten the brunt of the collision and were surprised to hear he had already been cleared before you'd woken up.

" Theodore Nott has been in four times today," Madame Pomfrey sighed. "I'll fetch him now so he doesn't interrupt your nighttime medications."

Theo came hurrying in less than ten minutes after Madame Pomfrey had sent the message you were awake.

"How are you feeling?"

You smiled faintly as Theo clasped your hand in his.

"Sore, I guess."

"I told you I wouldn't let you die," Theo grinned.

You frowned and your eyebrows found an automatic expression of confusion "What?"

Theo's brows furrowed. "You don't remember?"

"I don't remember anything after I saw the ground barreling towards me," you explained. "Madame Pomfrey says its a side effect of the concussion."

"Oh," Theo frowned. "Right."

"What's wrong?"

Theo shook his head. "Nothing, it's just... right after the collision you kept asking about Potter. You seemed like... genuinely worried about him. I just thought you hated him is all."

Your heart rose to your throat. How obvious had you been??

Fucking hell y/n! How could you be so stupid?!

"I do hate him," you lied. "Just as much as you."

Theo didn't look convinced but he nodded. "Yeah... yeah, I know. It was probably like survivor's guilt or something."

You giggled a little despite the anxiety building in your chest. "I don't think that's how it works, mattheo. I'm pretty sure the other person has to die in order for it to be considered survivor's guilt."

Theo smiled. "I'm just glad you're alright. I was worried about you."

A stab of shame and guilt hit you straight in the heart. You knew it was wrong to still be using Theo, but you felt safe with him. Nothing like the way you felt about Harry. Harry was risky, full of passion, uncertain. Theo was comfortable, pleasant, amorous.

You were perfectly content with Theo, you told yourself.

But was content enough?

You tried to convince yourself it was. You really did.